My Life!!

[Trust_Not_123]

I just really need to get this off my chest because i dont talk to anyone. but here is my whole life as much as i can remeber. this is not a farce and is all lagitimet.

Well, first of all, my mother had me when she was 16 and that wasnt the best age to raise a child, she had tracey at 18 and this was with a different father. anyway, the youngest time i can remeber is living with my nanna and grandad while mum was in jail for armed robbery. this would probably be about when i was 5 or 6 because while i was living with my grandparents, i went to kindergarten. so, a year or two later, mother comes knocking on my door, and she is with somebody but i cant remeber who. so she has gotten out of jail, and want to take me back with her. so i ended up in this jeep thing with only front seats, and was squashed in the middle, all throughout my packing i remember nanna and grandad trying to convince her not to take me. but as i was in the car and ready to go, grandad said that there wasnt enough room in the car and reached in to grab me out, but mother cut him off like ****. and now later i think about it, it really pisses me off and thats one thing i hate her for. so we left and we were supposed to be going to stay at her "friends" house, which seemed like a 2 days drive, but when we got there, they had a big arguament and had a fight and all the rest, you know cops and all. but the funny thing was, the police officers were in blue uniform, and i remeber being out in the bush somewhere. this is weird because bush police wear brown uniforms and city police wear blue uniforms. but i was young and memories get mixed up.

years passed and i tried to see nanna and grandad as often as possible, but mother wanst keen on it cause she kept on saying they brought her up and they were bad parents, but they are a tonne lots better than she was. i went to heaps of primary schools, and in year 5, we ended up moving to serpentine, which is a fair way in the sticks, and a good 45 minute drive from nanna and grandad. by this time mother got married to some guy that suddenly appeared and i didnt even know before they got married, and he fathered another 3 children over the space of 6 or 7 years. the afterwards he got a vasectemy they never had anymore kids. so my whole family consists of mother, the guy she married, me, Tracey, Chimanni, Tahlia and Dilan. but i have disowned all of them. and so my real who family consists of nanna and grandad.

mum and the guy she married were constantly smoking marijuana around me and later i found out that she was doing other drugs that involve needles. ect. and things just got a whole lot worse. there was also alot of physical abuse, she and shane (the guy she married) always smacked the kids if they did anything wrong. as soon as they could crawl they were literally belted. shane rips them up on one hand and sends them to their rooms. until i started fighting back they did it with me aswell. during all my time living with my mother. i was suicidal and was constantly thinking of ways to do myself in.

anyway, back to year 5. i didnt get along with many kids because i was the kind of person who always did their work and didnt play football. i granduated at serpentine primary and went to armadale senior high school from there. not many of the people i knew from serpentine came to armadale but a few did, even though we arent really friends. during my time at serpentine instead of staying in the house i stayed outside in a bus which had all the seats removed and my bed and all that was moved into this. this really was to get away from them as much a possible. they had a dog, and i had a cat. and i had this soft doll of alf, an alien. anyway, nanna and grandad gave it to me when i was like 5 and it wasnt even damaged or anything, and when i always felt like crying i always had alf with me. i talked to my alf and everything. but one day their dog chewed my alf up and its really lucky i didnt kill it, literally. they bought me a different alf but i literally fed that alf to the dog.

my cat had a litter of kittens. but our house was situated in a padock, and there was a few dead trees, including one that was close to the house and had been hollowed out by termites and what not. so she ended up having her kittens near the roots of this tree, we finally found out and we moved the kittens into the house. the next morning we woke up and that tree she had the kittens in had been blown over.

we stayed in that house for another year, and with me now at the end of year 8, i convinced them to move to armadale so it was closer to my school, and more importantly closer to nanna and grandad.

after we moved to this new house problems really started happening and i left and was kicked out at the same time, and moved in with nanna and grandad and have been here ever since, with me trying to deliberatly go out of my way not to see mum or anyone else of that part.

During high school i met this guy from NZ and we have been best mates ever since. his family is practically my family now. when we meet new people and other members of their family they say the addopted me last year. which is pretty much true, except for all the legal mumbo jumbo.

In year 8 i met this girl named jessica taylor. we went out and had an on and off relationship up until now. i have had other girlfriends before her but she was really special to me and i would go to the ends of the earth and back for her. but lately, i had asked her if she would ever go out with me again, to which she replied a non-definate answer. so i gave her two weeks to decide. she wrote me a letter and in it it said stuff like, when we first went out, it was only cause i was having trouble with my b/f and hannah (her friend) suggested, that she go out with me to make him jealous. and being as stupid as i was, didnt see anything wrong with our relationship. and after she told me the last 4 years of my life were a waster this really hurt and i began to get suicidal again.

right now, i am still living with my grandparents and tracey, she isnt attending school and i dont know what happening with her. mother and shane are supposed to be getting a divorce but who knows and as for the little kids, well, half the time they never get picked up from school/daycare and go home with the teachers. but like i say, i disowned them and is out of my hands.

Thats about it. if you want to know anything specific, tell me.

Sorry about my rambling and choppy subjects and how i change year and change back, but i think you should be able to follow it.

Thanks for listening,

Trust_Not_123

[Trust_Not_123]

i would just like to add something that i forgot, i have never know my biological father and at times i wish there was some way i could find him. however he is not on my birth certificate and therefore organisations like red cross cannot help me. i am too ashamed to publish my story in a magazine. does anyone have an solutions. thanks for all your support and help.

Trust_Not_123

[the_JinX]

In the Netherlands where I live, whe have a TV show that does just that.
But as you are to ashamed to publish the story in a magazine, I'd rule that option out.

Perhaps you could get a private-investigator to check out the ( I asume you were born in a hospital ) hospital you were born and see if they know anything.

but perhaps someone else has a clever insight..

[Trust_Not_123]

the hospital is a good sugesion jinx, but like i say, he is not on my birth certificate so any oragnisation wont step in because of mistakes that can be made. i suppose their name on my birth certificate is the organisations proof that they are not wrong.

i wonder how much a private investigator would cost??

thanks anyway

[HackersWarrioR]

your storie is so sad! So soory for you.Hope it'll be alright.Good luck for the futur...

[JagFire19]

Dude man, that was deep.

[zaggy]

Your story is indeed sad, but now that you are living with your grandparents, perhaps you can have a happy ending.

The most important thing to remember is that none of it is your fault, you are not born bad, you can rise above all of this and be anything you choose to be. Fate sometimes deals us ugly hands but no one says you can't twist fate into something that suits you better. The fact that you are still here and didn't kill yourself is a testament to the will inside you.

I hope for a happier life from this point on and good luck with whatever you choose to do.

[Conf1rm3d_K1ll]

Originally posted here by JagFire19
Dude man, that was deep.

LOL...


It amazes me, in this day and age, (with crimes such as identity theft rampant) how much private and personal information people are willing to publicly disclose about themselves....Remember, only the paranoid survive!

[debwalin]

I just really need to get this off my chest because i dont talk to anyone.

Have you tried a journal? You can use the ones here at AO, or there are numerous free websites that offer journals. I personally don't use the one here, only because there are things I don't want all you boys to read Hard enough to be taken seriously here without acting all girly! Lol...but seriously...try a journal somewhere. I know a lot of people here use livejournal, and I personally use Diaryland (under a nick none of you will know so don't waste your time looking :P) and I get a lot of stress relief from just blowing off everything there. The nice thing about your own journal is no one is going to tell you it's stupid, or to get over it, or anything like that.

I agree that your life hasn't been a bed of roses, but the thing to remember is that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and if you learn from what you go thru in life, you won't repeat it, and it will give you direction in your life, and something to aim for.

Deb

[Spyder32]

Usually I blow off anger by punching a pillow or something. I'm also VERY good at poetry and express anger that way (Have won awards, w00t!). Poetry is a way for me to express myself and to get out anger with words, and at the same time, trying to be happy. One other thing my friends told me is that I'm a good person to talk to if they have a problem, and all my friends know they can talk to me if they have a problem and that I will always care. That goes to anyone on AO really, If you ever need someone to talk to, the PM button can come in handy, and I'm on the site 24/7. Hope I helped!