Bastard system admin from Michigan 2
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Thread: Bastard system admin from Michigan 2

  1. #1
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
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    Bastard system admin from Michigan 2

    Well guys, i finished my second story today, i kinda like writing these lol. I wanna thank everyone for there feedback on there first one and i would love to hear more feed back on this one, enjoy everyone

    BASTARD ADMIN FROM MICHIGAN
    #2 (woo, actually got past the first one!!)
    Written entirely by: gore.

    8:00 AM: Well I’m on my way to work; I just got cut off by one of my co workers, bet he’s going to have a great day today.

    8:10 AM: Well I’m in my chair now, I unhooked the fone, it doesn’t ring as much that way. I saw the guy that cut me off as I was entering the building, I got his username and at the moment I’m still deciding what to do exactly, he has a huge project do for the boss at 9:00 AM, but then again he really could use some time off and take a “concepts of a turn signal and basic driving skills” class. I plug the fone back in, I want to be sure to take his call he is about to make soon. I unplug him from the network, and like clockwork the fone rings, it is him saying he lost his internet connection and I say I’m working on it and get back to signing him up fir a driving class with the credit card he “dropped” into my hand. After posting his numbers online I log into his account and find that 60 MB file he has been working on for 7 months….hmmmm, I think its time to trim it down a little bit, I write a simple script and every time he types a character it deletes a random sentence, I make sure and delete his back ups and then I plug him back into the network. He calls and says “It’s about damn time you moron I have a project to work on” …oh is he ever going to pay! I write another script and put it in his account, as soon as he opens that project and starts typing, after he types 200 words it will launch del *.* in his department and an e-mail will be sent from him to everyone saying “This is for breathing my air today” I think the departments going to just love him.

    10:00 AM: Well guess who hit 200 words today! The fone is ringing off the hook…..I bet it is, I unplugged it and went to lunch.

    2:00 PM: I get back from lunch and realize the guy that cut me off this morning wasn’t at his desk, I saw his car when I came back though, I decide to have more fun and find the bottle of krazy glue I bought this morning after he cut me off and a huge piece of project paper, the cardboard kind that kids do school projects on. I take the krazy glue that’s conveniently shaped like a pen and write “I’m for abortion and animal abuse” on his front and back windshields on his car in the glue. Then I grab the sheet paper and it fits all the way across his windshields, I plop it in there and push it into the glue…amazing how that stuff fits on a Viper windshield perfectly! I walk back in and see him leaving crying, he got fired and his ass kicked by his fellow employees, something about him deleting everyone’s work today. I can’t miss this! He’s leaving right now! I watch as he realizes the paper on his car. He takes the bait and just pulls it off and realizes that the glue and paper that stuck to it now spell out nice happy things….He pissed himself!!! Score!!!! I still have his credit card too! I look up his address on it and find where he lives and his fone number.

    3:00PM: Well I just finished signing him up for “Heroin Aficionado” I got a 10% discount because I made sure to click the “No don’t wrap it in black plastic, I’m proud of who I am” Bet the neighbors are going to be talking now.

    3:30 PM: It’s raining outside!!!!!! I leave work early and drive to Mr. I deleted every things house. He parked outside and I see him inside weeping, I grab the can of paint thinner I bought on the way here and paint his whole car in it. Muahahaha, 30 minutes later I drive past his house again after it began raining harder, the whole car is a giant rust ball with tires!!!!! I’m so awesome!! **** the way he drove today I just saved lives! I don’t think I’m done yet though, I hook in my line mans handset into his fone line after stripping it and call Ireland and leave it on for a while. I’m so funny sometimes. I drive back to the office for a minute, I forgot my laptop. I walk in and realize the boss is fallowing me, I turn around and he asks me about everything that was deleted, I tell him if people read and followed the back up instructions I e-mailed every ones work will be fine. I grab my laptop and leave. I’m going home for the night.

  2. #2
    Gray Haired Old Fart aeallison's Avatar
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    Thumbs up You da Man!

    That will teach him. hehe

    I know this is in the humor forum, I just have to ask you though...is this sh*t for real? Or are you just a fantastic story teller. Either way, my hats off to you.
    I have a question; are you the bug, or the windshield?

  3. #3
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    For the sake of fun I will believe this as truth, but there is no way that you have the indecency to do this to someone right ? I mean people get cut off everyday, imagine what the workplace would be like if everyone took your approach...lol WOW just take a second and picture that. Anyway good story either way.

    Merry Christmas

  4. #4
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
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    hehehe, thanks again for the feed back guys, i appreciate it and no, these are NOT true stories, just something i started doing yesterday, writing stories similar to BOFH, im a big fan of that series and i thought, "hey, i could write my own series, itll be fun" and it is i make these up as i type and i think im doing a pretty good job so far, i share them with you guys as soon as im done with em cause well, you guys are great! and i trust your feed back

  5. #5
    Senior Member deftones12's Avatar
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    good one gore...i'm not waitin for "bastard admin from michigan 3". Lookin forward to readin it...as u give me many ideas for when i land my job as systems admin muahaha.

  6. #6
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
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    3 Is done, so is 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 is now started. You should be able to find em pretty easy by searching. Thanks though.

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