Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP
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Thread: Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

  1. #1
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    Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

    Quite funny story .

    Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

    Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.
    "A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

    Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

    In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

    Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

    PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

    Source: BBspot
    - Mantra

  2. #2
    AO übergeek phishphreek's Avatar
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    You're right... that is a great story! I wonder if its for real...

    Anywho, good find.

    I'm off to score some PHP.
    Quitmzilla is a firefox extension that gives you stats on how long you have quit smoking, how much money you\'ve saved, how much you haven\'t smoked and recent milestones. Very helpful for people who quit smoking and used to smoke at their computers... Helps out with the urges.

  3. #3
    Forgotten Ghost RogueSpy's Avatar
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    Originally posted here by phishphreek80
    You're right... that is a great story! I wonder if its for real...

    Anywho, good find.

    I'm off to score some PHP.
    Um. . . No.

    http://www.bbspot.com/index.html

    Heh, I love sites like this. BTW. . . if anyone still believes this story. . . . I have some Ocean Front property in TN I Would like to sell you.
    "Never give in-never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy!" - Winston Churchill

  4. #4
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    lol.. that's a hoot.. thanks..

    ahhh.. RogueSpy.. if you wait long enough.. with global warming and the first nukes taking out the eastern seaboard.. you very well could have some "Ocean Front property in TN "

  5. #5
    Forgotten Ghost RogueSpy's Avatar
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    You have a good point. . . . ok. . . someone start the bidding for the Ocean Front Property. Nuclear Haze included.
    "Never give in-never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy!" - Winston Churchill

  6. #6
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    My bid: 3 Canadian dollars. What do ya say? Sounds like a deal, I'll be there tommorow at 4 to pay you!

    Anyways, that is a really funnt thing, Haha, *goes back to the site to look up more funny things* Everyone needs a good laugh.

    Here's another funny;

    http://www.bbspot.com/News/2002/12/santa_linux.html

    Welp, looks like Santa's going to be alot more secure. YAY! Go Sanata!
    Come to UnError.com

  7. #7
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    see what happens when you introduce new tricks (php) to old dogs (adults in this story)

    hell funny. hahaha
    - Trying is the first step towards failure. the moral is never try.
    - It\'s like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
    ----Homer J Simpson----

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