And god said... (plus other jokes)
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  1. #1
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    Talking And god said... (plus other jokes)

    When did i realise i was god? well, i was praying one time and i noticed i was talking to myself!

    `````````````````````````````````````````

    In the beginning there was the computer.

    And God entered: C:\Let there be light!

    Enter user ID

    C:\God

    Enter password

    C:\Omniscient

    Invalid password

    Enter password

    C:\Omnipotent

    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

    C:\ Let there be light.

    Unrecognizable command

    C:\Create light

    Done

    C:\Run heaven and earth

    And God created Day and Night

    And God saw that there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

    C:\Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

    Unrecognizable command. Try again.

    C:\Create firmament

    Done.

    C:\Run firmament

    And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

    C:\Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and...

    Too many characters in specification string. Try again.

    C:\Create dry_land

    Done.

    C:\Run firmament

    And God saw there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

    C:\Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

    Unspecified type. Try again.

    C:\Create sun_moon_stars

    C:\Run sun_moon_stars

    And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night.

    And God saw there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

    And God logged on at 12:01AM, Thursday, March 5

    C:\Create fish

    Done

    C:\Create fowl

    Done

    C:\Run fish, fowl

    And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth where the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind.

    And God saw there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

    C:\Create cattle

    Done

    C:\Create creepy_things

    Done

    C:\Now let us make man in our image

    Unspecified type. Try again.

    C:\Create man

    Done

    C:\Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth

    Too many command operands. Try again.

    C:\Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 6 errors.

    C:\Run Breath

    Done

    C:\Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 5 errors.

    C:\Move man to Garden of Eden

    Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.

    Abort, Retry, Ignore?

    C:\Create Garden_of_Eden

    Too many parameters

    C:\Create Garden Eden.

    Done

    C:\Move man to Garden of Eden.

    Done

    C:\Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 4 errors.

    C:\Copy woman from man

    Done

    C:\Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 2 errors.

    C:\Create desire

    Done

    C:\Run multiplication

    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden Eden.

    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

    C:\Create freewill

    Done

    C:\Run freewill

    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden Eden.

    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

    C:\Undo desire

    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

    C:\Destroy freewill

    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

    C:\Help

    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

    C:\Create tree_of_knowledge

    C:\Create good, evil

    Done

    C:\Activate evil

    And God saw he had created shame.

    Warning system error in sector E95.

    Man and woman no longer located in Garden.edn. 1 errors.

    C:\Scan Garden.edn for man, woman

    Search failed. Abort, Retry, Ignore?

    C:\Delete shame

    Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

    C:\Destroy freewill

    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

    Enter replacement,cancel, or ask for help.

    C:\Stop

    Unrecognizable command. Try again

    C:\Ctrl_Break

    C:\Ctrl_Break

    ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS:

    COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES

    PLEASE LOG OFF.

    C:\Create new world

    You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.

    C:\ Destroy earth

    Destroy earth: Please confirm.

    C:\Destroy earth

    Confirmed

    COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.

    SERVICE WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 12:01 AM.

    YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

    And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.

    On Saturday, March 7, God rested.

    On March 8, God created Macintosh.

    ``````````````````````````````````````````````````

    True Story: A person rings up tech support and asks the techy, i am haveing some problems with my floppy drive. the techy asks, what exactly is wrong. he says, well, i am installing this program, and i got through the first disk ok, then it said insert disk 2, so i did, and then after it said insert disk 3. and the techy asks, then what the problem, and the customer says bluntly, well it was hard enough getting the 2nd disk in, how am i supposed to get a third one in.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````````````

    Abstract:
    Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

    Mouse Balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

    Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be harder and larger than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending on the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist off method. Mouse Balls are usually not static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

    It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````````````

    thanks guys TN123
    - Trying is the first step towards failure. the moral is never try.
    - It\'s like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
    ----Homer J Simpson----

  2. #2
    Member
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    haha nice post man i needed that one.

  3. #3
    Antionline's Security Dude instronics's Avatar
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    LOL, yeah, that is funny
    Ubuntu-: Means in African : "Im too dumb to use Slackware"

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    Glad you guys like it.
    - Trying is the first step towards failure. the moral is never try.
    - It\'s like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
    ----Homer J Simpson----

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    238
    I liked it too! Nice mouseball one


    Also, for a golfcourse:

    WHOEVER DOES NOT FOLLOW THE RULES OF THIS COURSE WILL HAVE THEIR BALLS CONFISKATED




    Regards,
    Silentstalker
    -{[ Joe ]}- (Joe@nitesecurity.com)
    http://www.nitesecurity.com

    [shadow]I\'m Just A Soldier In This War Against Ignorance.[/shadow]

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