January 16th, 2003, 03:18 PM
Exactly ten years ago today the coroner came to my mom and had to break bad news. A couple of hikers found the body of her husband inside of a VW mini bus. He explained it was a suicide by asphyxiation. From that day forward, it would never be the same for my family.
A lot of history was behind what would ultimately lead to his suicide and thus untimely death at only 52 years old. Many years before, my mom recalled my dad hinting at suicide, withdrawing, and over the years a horrid mental illness getting worse because he was not treated. Around the early 90's, my mom wanted to divorce my father, and he moved to the guest house. A little more than a year later, he took a whole bottle of pills (I do not know exactly what it was) and was rushed to the hospital, and remained in ICU for three days.
After coming out of his coma and my folks bank account now drained because he had no health insurance, the police went to the hospital and told my father since he tried to commit suicide, they will have to take him down for evaluation. Some evaluation. He was released 72 hours later, and he never went to get treated like the doctors suggested. The illness got worse...
It got so bad because he told me he was getting messeges from God that the world was coming to an end and we needed to prepare for that event. He would close his eyes and he would say a "face with a white beard" was talking to him and he would write down these "instructions" from setting a timeline of events, self-mutilation, starring at the sun, and he even went as far as to tell me I was Jesus. Now that in itself could make a story.
I could not take it anymore. I left home and went to live with my uncle in Upland, CA., and told my mom I would look for work there. Life was looking good for me, then tragedy struck again. My father was arrested for lewd acts on a child, and was released from jail until his trial. That day never came. Instead, he sat my mom down and confessed to molestations and lies. He left never to return.
What's the moral of this story? My dad may be dead, but that does not mean others have to suffer like he did. Severe mental illness, divorce, money problems, school problems, self-esteem issues, addiction and many other factors play a role in one wanting to contemplate suicide.
There is hope, and there is help. However, one needs to know the warning signs and ways to get treatment. If you or somebody you know is suicidal, take the time to help them. Reach out, and be a life preserver, because suicidal behavior is nothing to ignore.
Thank you for your time,
January 16th, 2003, 03:26 PM
I can not say anything but that I admire you for your honnesty and this brave post. Family problem on public thread!!!
I take note of this and I hope I will never face it!
[shadow] SHARING KNOWLEDGE[/shadow]
January 16th, 2003, 03:49 PM
Networker, I'm pretty sure you missed the point of this thread. The point I take from this is that suicide is an option that leaves much hurt and confusion in its wake, and hurts your entire family. As well as the fact that mental illness is not something that should be swept under the rug and ignored, there is treatment available, and you should encourage anyone in your life that suffers from depression to seek treatment.
Suicide is a thought that many people live with on a day to day basis, but there are other options. That is what I take from this thread.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
January 16th, 2003, 04:54 PM
Wow... I'm most impressed. I've been fighting with depression for a number of years now without any help. Most of my poetry is centered on death and suicide. I've many scars on my arms where I've carved words, or just sliced. I've been told for ages to "get help", but getting help is a very scary thing when you're the person with the thoughts and ideas. When I first realized I was suffering from depression. I came forward and told my family. Their responce was... You're a teenager, it's normal, you have nothing to depressed about, just smile and you'll feel better. In todays society, admitting you suffer from depression or some other mental illness, is no different from admitting you're gay. You're outted, and people look at you a different way. People will always say, "Get help.... deal with it." I wish it was that simple. If I come forward and see a shrink, or even go to a counsellor, my family will disown me. They've stated that before. Suicide does cause a lot of pain, and logically it is not a way out. Yet when you are a depressed person, and all you feel is pain, it is very very inviting. Everone's solution is medication. They don't want to help the problem, they want to subdue it. They want to put you on paxil and prozac, or something harder like Lithium. All they want to do is mellow you right out, so you don't have the energy to deal with it, and they turn you into a drooling moron, with no free will. Cognative therapy is something they don't want to acknowledge. The fact, that just finding religion and placing your faith in God can help is something no one will believe. I've fought depression now for 5 or 6 years, and all that time I was an athiest, most depressed people I know tend to be. In the last month (after my last suicide attempt) I've turned to religion, I've been praying, and attending groups, reading the bible, and discussion religion. I've found it's really helped, sure I still have my down points, but they aren't the same... Maybe there isn't a God, and maybe that's what you believe, but Faith does have the power to heal, and I've accepted Christianity into my life. Those are the things that help. People don't realize what it's like, they realize that suicide exists, and that's about all.
I have to commend you albn for coming forward and telling you're story and I am be no way trying to demean what you said, but everyone has to realize that the recommended treatment isn't right for most people.
January 16th, 2003, 05:20 PM
My son was depressed would not take the meds long enough for them to kick in . Didn't like drugs. One night he talked about suicide He was big and tall we didnt know what to do he ran out of the house and my other son and girlfriend folowed him. I called the police because I knew he was so big and strong he could not be controlled by one or two people if he decided to run away again. The police arrived with two squad cars . The commanding officer happened to be the chief's son well known for his faults and bad attitude I told him my son was depressed and suicidal and had now agreed to hospitalization would they help us. . all the officers and my family heard quite clearly what we as his parents told them. The officer kept telling me to shut up or he would hospitalize me if I didn't. He wouldnt listen to us.. They put him in the back of the cruiser.My son was visibly upset by this but we told him they would do the right thing. I dressed and went to the station to fill out any reports and thought he was already hospitalized But found out they had jailed him instead and was told quite bluntly this was now their job not mine.. We asked to see him and sit with him to calm him we were refused. They had videos and all of a sudden they pushed us out into the foyer he had tried to hang himself. They left him in that cell alone after that and he then succesfully hung himself They sat him up in a corner of the cell and said he wouldn't die and left him choking. When he began to turn blue they ran for ambu bags and couldnt find them. They called the ambulance co who could not contact their people (they were found with all thier radios off drinking coffee in the local donut shop) by the time another ambulance arrived it was 30 minutes longer.He was rushed to the hospital (only 5 minutes away)and pronounced dead.If only the original officer had listened to us and brought him to the hospital and the ER he would be alive today. If only the ambulance co people had been at their posts he would be alive today. I implemented a suicide prevention program now followed by the towns policemen
After four years of litigaition two of the officers involved came forth and verified my words"Please watch and care for my son he is suicidal." and they then told what happened from the first contact with us to the end.Everyone had denied our words for 4 long years they had said they werent told any thing at all about him.. It was these officers final testimoney that brought forth the truth.I fought for him and others like him this shouldn't happen to any family.What a horrible four years for us but we changed the system maybe not much but hopefully enough for the next person to come along to save his life. Maybe that is how the world gets better if we all try with all our might when it is our turn to stand up and fight and be counted. Auntie
For hundreds of years the brain was physically capable of the thoughts of a Galelio or an Aristotle among people who had not yet learned to count to ten. Much of that equipment is still unused and waiting.
January 16th, 2003, 06:48 PM
Regz you can beat it man. I've got quite the large streak of melancholy myself. I dont know wether its random or I developed it over time. Although it'll get harder sometimes, just have a few "safe" things to take your focus off worries and relieve stress. And if you ever need help man i'm sure we're all here for you.
January 16th, 2003, 08:15 PM
January 17th, 2003, 12:50 AM
"Everone's solution is medication. They don't want to help the problem, they want to subdue it. They want to put you on paxil and prozac, or something harder like Lithium. All they want to do is mellow you right out, so you don't have the energy to deal with it, and they turn you into a drooling moron, with no free will. Cognative therapy is something they don't want to acknowledge. The fact, that just finding religion and placing your faith in God can help is something no one will believe. I've fought depression now for 5 or 6 years, and all that time I was an athiest, most depressed people I know tend to be. In the last month (after my last suicide attempt) I've turned to religion" - HTRegz
HTRegz, I don't exactly know how to explain the ignorance in your post and be civil about it at the same time, but I'll try anyways.
Notice everything I italicized, these are the kind of blanket statements that show nothing short of prejudice based on personal experience. Maybe your intentions were good, being the jist of your statement is 'if you've tried everything and it failed, turn to religion before suicide'.
that's fine, and I even tend to agree with it. My problem is with the mal-intentioned aggression towards medication and specific religions (atheism). I happen to be one of many people that suffered from clinical depression and Paxil (in particular) changed my life for the better. I'm no longer on Paxil, but the medication allowed me to resolve my personal issues and get on with life. It did not however, turn me into a drooling slob.
The other objectionable thing you said, indicated being atheist leads to depression.
I have yet to see any clinical studies indicating any correlation between depression and being atheist. I happen to be catholic by chance, but know a very many smart, mentally agile and content people who are atheist and agnostic.
anyways, I'm not sure exactly what you were trying to convey in your reply, or if you misworded it, but next time, maybe reflect a little bit longer before you just fling that opinion of yours around.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his - George Patton
January 17th, 2003, 01:42 AM
Thank you for posting this. I have been suffering from depression for a while and mostly untreated. Any way, Please tell someone if you feel like killing yourself or if you know someone who does. I have tried twice, and it feels good to die, but it's not worth it. DON'T LET THEM DO IT!!! There are many torn familys over this. Problems can fixed or relooked over, but we can not bring you or your loved one back to life no matter how much we do!!! Stop this ****!!! Life is good, let them live it to their full potential.
DON'T LET THIS PICTURE HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!
January 17th, 2003, 01:57 AM
If anyone thinks of sucide think of your family and how their lives will be effected by this for the rest of their lives.