January 30th, 2003, 02:29 AM
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
>It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
>Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
>Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
>Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
>Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
>If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
>If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
>Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
>Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
>The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
>A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
>There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
>Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
>Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.
>Remember...the most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
January 30th, 2003, 02:36 AM
These are really nice sayings and are really funny. I have one question for you.
What are you apologizing for?
January 30th, 2003, 03:04 AM
I posted the same joke twice, and that is inexcusable.
January 30th, 2003, 03:09 AM
If you didn't already go back to one of the jokes, go to edit, and check "delete post" and then click delete. It won't show up anymore.
Also, thank you for apologizing and being responsible with this sort of thing. It makes being on the ofrums much nicer, and is greatly appreciated. Hope to see more posts from you soon.
January 30th, 2003, 03:43 AM
Very funny, and yes, I agree with ^Mobius^ thanks for the apology...It's nice to see more newbies who actually read the FAQ's. It makes AO here nicer for everyone.
Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes"; They will say, "Women don't have what it takes".
Clare Boothe Luce
January 30th, 2003, 06:42 AM
Those were great, Some i have seen before, but others were new.
Keep the jokes coming.
January 30th, 2003, 06:49 AM
I am agree with HTRegz.... I really liked it.
January 31st, 2003, 11:58 AM
I am a hacker, you may stop this individual, but you can\'t stop us all...
after all, we\'re all alike.
January 31st, 2003, 02:12 PM
Very funny indeed. Keep it up.
Ubuntu-: Means in African : "Im too dumb to use Slackware"