February 10th, 2002, 11:07 PM
February 10th, 2002, 11:10 PM
50 Comments by Blondes During Sex
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (In the back seat of a car) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right? Person 2: Yeah.. today.
12. (In the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good- looking when I'm sober...
21. (Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will you!
24. You look younger than you feel..
25. Got any penicillin?.
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
30. So much for the fulfilment of sexual fantasies!
31. (In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people.
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
PM me for the source....
February 10th, 2002, 11:11 PM
50 Reasons to be a Blonde
1. We can get laid anytime we want.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We piss sitting down so it's easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We avoid speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sleep with them.
11. Men light our cigarettes for us.
12. Men hold the door open for us.
13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!).
14. We're cuter.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28. PMS is a legal defence for murder.
29. Men are like tiles, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever.
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men can.
31. 2 words - multi orgasmic.
32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
33. Sweat is sexy on us
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too.
37. We get expensive jewellery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewellery all the time because men **** up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.
40. Blondes are cleaner.
41.Blondes have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didn't know).
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
45. Blondes know how to fake it..
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. Better Tips
50. There is no penis envy.
PM me for source...
February 11th, 2002, 12:25 AM
I guess you guys dont care for blond jokes. I will not post any more. I dont really care for them myself...
February 11th, 2002, 08:50 PM
Erm - just a question - if you don't like them, why did you post so many?
Pierce me with steel, rend me with claw and fang; as I die, a legend is born for another generation to follow.
An\' it harm none, do as ye will. - Wiccan Rede
February 11th, 2002, 08:56 PM
Good question... I dont know. I guess I was thinking that maybe you would like them...
February 11th, 2002, 09:04 PM
I didn't know it was possible for man to know so many blond jokes - either that or u recieve ALOT of fwd emails
February 8th, 2003, 12:52 PM
i read da jokes. they alright. some were good, some i've heard before.
got any other jokes (non-blonde)?