Told to me by a friend this evening:

This woman is driving down the Interstate and is pulled over by a police car for speeding. The conversation goes like this:

Officer "Evening, can I see your drivers license"

Woman "Erm no, I don't have one."

Officer "You don't? Okay well can I see your insurance documents?"

Woman "No I don't have any, I stole this car."

Officer "You are telling me you stole the car."

Woman "Sure, I needed it to get away after I shot the driver. In fact I cut his body up and put it in the trunk, do you want to see?"

The policeman backs away to his car and calls for back-up. Two minutes later the car is surrounded by five squad cars and the senior office approaches cautiously with gun drawn.

Snr Officer "Madam, can I see your driving licence?"

Woman "Certainly" (fishes in handbag) "here you go!"

Snr Officer, "Madam, my colleague tells me you have no insurance".

Woman "I do have insurance, here's the form" (hands it to him).

Snr Officer "He also tells me you've killed a man and his corpse is in the trunk"

Woman "Hang on" - she pops the hood and he sees it's empty.

Woman "Next you'll tell me he says I was speeding?"