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Thread: Sipping Vodka

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Snohomish WA

    Sipping Vodka


    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
    After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
    The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the
    pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
    If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
    So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
    sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a
    Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note
    onthe door:

    >1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
    >2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
    >3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
    >4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
    >5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
    >6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
    >7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior
    and the Spook.
    >8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him.
    >9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't
    say he was stoned off his ass.
    >10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
    >11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this
    and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
    >12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
    >13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks
    for the grub, yeah God.
    >14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's,
    not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    I'd goto church if there was a priest who spoke like that
    Mafia = Organized Crime
    Government = Unorganized Crime

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    LMAO that was the funniest joke ive heard in a long time, thanx for the laugh
    Don\'t be a bitch! Use Slackware.

  4. #4
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    LMAO......tension breaker aaagh....my tummy hurts now...lol

    - Noia
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

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