Sipping Vodka

[Faqt]

SIPPING VODKA

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a
storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note
onthe door:

>1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
>2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
>7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior
and the Spook.
>8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him.
>9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't
say he was stoned off his ass.
>10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
>11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this
and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
>12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
>13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks
for the grub, yeah God.
>14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's,
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

[Suberme]

I'd goto church if there was a priest who spoke like that

[hatebreed2000]

LMAO that was the funniest joke ive heard in a long time, thanx for the laugh

[Noia]

LMAO......tension breaker aaagh....my tummy hurts now...lol

- Noia