Some simple logic
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  1. #1
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    Some simple logic

    It's hard to disagree with most of what old Andy says.

    ANDY FOR PRESIDENT:
    Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back: (for those of you that
    don't know Andy Rooney, he is a 82 year old US TV commentator)


    "I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires.

    I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
    governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack
    addicts for squirting out babies.

    Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can
    kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you
    from driving to the ball game.

    I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are
    no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING
    MARTHA BURKE?

    I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is
    an opinion.

    I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except
    numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are
    things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment
    Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United
    Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or
    Miss White America; and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking
    down your door.

    I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different,
    weird, or tick me off.

    When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of
    the population is black, that is not racial profiling. It is the Law of
    Probability.

    I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I received
    sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private
    matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!

    I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a
    newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact,
    if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

    My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries
    you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police
    should have every right to shoot your sorry self if you threaten them after
    they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop"
    in English, see the above lines.

    I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount
    votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.

    I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
    qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or
    tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or
    any other business.

    We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in
    wars to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could come over
    here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their
    interpretations.

    I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

    I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That
    doesn't stop you from watching them.

    I believe a self-righteous liberal, or conservative with a cause, is more
    dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

    I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue
    to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system
    that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that
    invented the Internet to help you.

    It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a
    parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when
    necessary, and say "NO!"

    "I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't
    pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that
    new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you
    serve me french fries!

    I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not
    a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African
    Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am
    a European American because my great, great, great, great, great, great
    grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere
    else.

    And if you don't like my point of view, tough. DON'T PASS IT ON!!"

    What do you think of this man's attitude? Do you think he says it like it is or do you think he's smoking something. I thought after all the war talk this would liven this forum up a bit so give me your best shot.

    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  2. #2
    I think what this guy is saying is dead on. Everything he says I agree with. There is nothing to debate against, he says it like it is.

    [Edit] By the way, do you know if he is liberal or conservative? [/Edit]
    [shadow]Vis Tecum Sit[/shadow]
    http://www.AntiOnline.com/sig.php?imageid=371

  3. #3
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    [Edit] By the way, do you know if he is liberal or conservative? [/Edit]
    I'd bet the farm that he's conservative. Buggered if I know why though

    I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is
    an opinion.
    A phobia is an irrational fear. If you feel that homosexuality is wrong for reasons which in your own mind you can rationalise and validate, then it does become an opinion and not a phobia. However, most people who have a dislike for gay people do not fall into this category. They dislike homosexuality because they fear it, because they don't understand it, because they are insecure about their sexuality, because they have been brought up with the belief that it is somehow morally wrong. I am a firm believer that disliking gay people because of these reasons is enough to qualify you as possessing a phobia for homosexuals.

    Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can
    kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you
    from driving to the ball game.
    I would strongly agree with this statement, except that 'guns' is one of those terms which means very, very different things to different people. Sure, your .22 or your .303 I can understand. But take a movie like Bowling for Columbine, the guy at the start with his M16 which he kept at his house always readied. Why the **** does a civilian need an M16? And his analogy with baseball bats and cars is mediocre at best.

    Everything else he says, IMHO, is perfectly valid. Unfortunately usually when you read one of these rants they have so much nonsensical content as to become farcical. Nice one KorpDeath

  4. #4
    AO Curmudgeon rcgreen's Avatar
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    They dislike homosexuality because they fear it, because they don't understand it, because they are insecure about their sexuality, because they have been brought up with the belief that it is somehow morally wrong.
    I spent sixteen months in prison, every minute in the fear that some joker would knock me
    on the head and put his pecker up my butt! I guess I have the right to have a phobia.

    Why the **** does a civilian need an M16?
    The constitution doesn't say you have freedom of speech only if they decide
    that you need to say something. It also says "the right of the people to bear arms".
    Arms means weapons, not just a deer rifle or a 22 cal pistol.
    I came in to the world with nothing. I still have most of it.

  5. #5
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    Two quick notes.
    1. He's a senile old conservative and this sounds very much like something he would say
    2. He didn't say it, see this http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/rooney.asp

    Also note that a lot of the text was originally attributed to George Carlin he didn't say it either.
    Who is more trustworthy then all of the gurus or Buddha’s?

  6. #6
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    Good catch. I didn't bother to check. Kudos for you. It still makes sense no matter who said it.

    And, yes, "shoot your sorry ass..." is not something Andy Rooney would say on 60 minutes; but I'd like him to.
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  7. #7
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    Genrealy I don't believe any quote I read on the net....I just hope Snops and AFU are acurate as I let them do a lot of the fact checking for me...those people have way too much free time
    Who is more trustworthy then all of the gurus or Buddha’s?

  8. #8
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    As I was reading the post KorpDeath, I was thinking it was quite interesting, but that there was no way in Hell it was Andy Rooney that spoke it. From the other posts, I see I was correct, but it was a great conservative rant. Maybe it was Dennis Miller? I have always viewed Mr. Rooney as an antiquated A-hole.

    http://www.amusingquotes.com/h/m/Dennis_Miller_1.htm

    http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/au...d/a126554.html

    Some of this I agree with other parts, no.

    On the subject of A-holes.

    Personally I feel that Denis Leary's A-Hole song sums it up best. I have to wonder though:
    -> Could this song apply to whomever - no matter the country, if you are a self-proclaimed A-hole?
    -> Even though it is a man based song, I wonder if women feel it could apply to them if they wanted?

    http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?id=65855

    In case the link does not work:

    =========================
    From the album "No Cure For Cancer" - Denis Leary

    [Spoken]
    Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream. About me. About you. The way our American hearts beat down in the bottom of our chests. About the special
    feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon,
    we don't know.

    I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
    I'm your average white suburbanite slob
    I like football and porno and books about war
    I've got an average house with a nic hardwood floor
    My wife and my job, my kids and my car
    My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar

    But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
    (Oh no) No Way (Uh-uh)
    No, I've gotta go out and have fun
    At someone else's expense
    (Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

    I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
    While people behind me are going insane

    I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
    I'm an ******* (He's an *******, such an *******)

    I use public toilets and piss on the seat
    I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

    I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
    I'm an ******* (He's the world's biggest *******)

    Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people make handicapped faces

    I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
    I'm an ******* (He's a real ****ing *******)

    Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
    Ranting and raving and carrying on
    Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong

    Naaaah!

    I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
    I'm an ******* (He's the world's biggest *******)

    [Spoken]
    You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, hot pink with whaleskin hub caps and all leather cow interior and big brown
    baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115mph getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheese burgers from
    McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the
    American flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a God damned thing anybody can do about it. YOu know why? Because
    we got the bombs, that's why.

    [Spoken]
    Two words. Nuclear ****ing weapons, okay?! Russia, Germany, Romania - they can have all the Democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk
    right through the middle of Tiananmen square and it won't make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs, okay?! John Wayne's not dead - he's frozen. And as
    soon as we find the cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well
    multiple that by 15-million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes...
    (Hey)
    and Lee Marvin
    (Hey)
    and Sam Pekinpah
    (Hey)
    And a case of Whiskey and drive down to Texas...
    (Hey, you know you really are an *******)
    Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal!

    I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
    I'm an ******* (He's the world's biggest *******)

    A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E

    [Barking]
    Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf
    Fung achng tum a fung tum a fling chum
    Oooh Oooh

    [Spoken]
    I'm an ******* and proud of it!

    =============================
    \"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?\"
    -Juvenal

  9. #9
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    So last time I was at a bar with the guys (about ten years ago now while in college) We broke out into a rouseing rendition of the A-Hole song, trust me its a lot of fun to sing when drunk but a bad way to pick up chicks
    Who is more trustworthy then all of the gurus or Buddha’s?

  10. #10
    Disgruntled Postal Worker fourdc's Avatar
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    The US constitution uses the words arms, not "weapons."

    In the military, they are weapons, in the civilian arena, firearms.

    Civilians in the US are not allowed to have M-16s unless by special license, could you have mistaken the firearm for the civilian non-automatic AR-15?

    I teach firearm safety at a local hunter education program. If we are going to have a debate on gun control lets be accurate. Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my firearms or bows have!
    ddddc

    "Somehow saying I told you so just doesn't cover it" Will Smith in I, Robot

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