Something to offend everyone
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Thread: Something to offend everyone

  1. #1
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    Something to offend everyone

    I know at least one joke in here will offend you, it's up to you to tell me which one, okay?


    Here we go!

    SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?....Juan on Juan.
    What is a Yankee?.....The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?..... The
    position of the dirt bag.
    Why is divorce so expensive?.....Because it's worth it.
    What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?.......One US leader.
    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?.......Doughnuts.
    Why is air a lot like sex?......Because it's no big deal unless you're not
    getting any.
    What do you call a smart blonde?.....A golden retriever.
    What do attorneys use for birth control?.......Their personalities.
    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?.....45 lbs.
    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?......45 minutes.
    How many women does it take to change a light bulb?......None, they just sit
    there in the dark and bitch.
    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?......Through his chest with a sharp
    knife.
    Why do men want to marry virgins?.......They can't stand criticism.
    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
    good-looking?....Because those men already have boyfriends.
    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?...... After a
    year, the dog is still excited to see you.
    That makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?......The same
    urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
    A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the
    biggest boobs?.....The blonde, because she's 18.
    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?.....Because they have
    cotton balls.
    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW(or Mercedes)?.....A porcupine has the
    *****s on the outside.
    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?..... "Are you
    sure it's mine?"
    What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?..... Beer Nuts are $1
    and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?..... Mace will do that to you.
    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?.....Everyone has the same
    DNA.
    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?......Breasts don't have
    eyes.
    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?.....He walks around saying "Yo."
    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?........Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the
    Sex Ed class uses it.


    I needed that after the way this week is going. Cheers!
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  2. #2
    Trumpet-Eared Gentoo Freak
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    LMAO,

    KorpDeath, From you this isn't offending .... They expect it from you ,
    Come and check out our wargame-site @ http://www.rootcontest.org
    We chat @ irc.smdc-network.org #lobby

  3. #3
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    Don't I know it.
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Humm perhaps you are sliping a little, I found them all funny and none offensive. Then again I think belnder and dead baby jokes are funny .
    Who is more trustworthy then all of the gurus or Buddha’s?

  5. #5
    Dead Man Walking
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    you failed korp. I wasnt offened one bit. I did almost drop my pepsi opnto my keyboard then i would have been mad but luckily i didnt Keep trying

  6. #6
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    I will include more a little later. I'll keep them all in this one thread too. I wouldn't want to muck up the rest of the forum... hehehehe

    Already here's a quick one.


    Top 10 things never to say to a woman during an argument
    10. Don't you have some laundry to do or something?

    9. Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.

    8. You're just upset because your ass is beginning to spread.

    7. Wait a minute...I get it-what time of the month is it?

    6. You sure you don't want to consult the Great Oprah on this one?

    5. Sorry, I was just picturing you naked.

    4. Whoa, time out honey, Football is on.

    3. Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning.

    2. Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?

    AND THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A WOMEN DURING AN
    ARGUMENT...

    1. Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.

    More to come.
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  7. #7
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    OMG! Haa haa. . . I loved it! I had to try very hard no to laugh in front of all the kids!!! (I work at an elementary school) Great one korpDeath! I'm going to go home and give my boyfriend the list of things never to say in an argument!
    Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes"; They will say, "Women don't have what it takes".
    Clare Boothe Luce

  8. #8
    Banned
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    if you want to offend me ... tell something bad about my mom ...lol ...the jokes are great

  9. #9
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    Hey memory...Your mom sux!...is that better?

  10. #10
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    Hey Irishman,, Do you see the blinkng dates? that means that this thread is considered old. Which means its best not to reply to it.
    =

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