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Thread: computer LOL's

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2003

    computer LOL's

    i was bored so i thought why not bring some laughs to the AO community

    1.) Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

    2.) Some people have hacked into Microsoft and stolen their Windows XP code and here it is. I am sure that they would love any improvements for the next version.

    #include <windows.h>
    #include <system_errors.h>
    #include <stdlib.h>

    char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

    if (detect_cache())

    if (fast_cpu())

    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

    printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right \
    or just call it Chicargo)\n");

    if (system_ok())
    system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

    while(1) {
    if (rand() < 0.9)

    3.) Ten DOS commandments http://www.duckshit.com/computer_jok...er_jokes5.html

    4.) You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
    Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
    You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
    You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 2.01or higher."

    5.)Bill Gates dies and is up at the pearly gates.

    St Peter: Well, you've got a choice. Have a look around here. Pop down to Hell and see what Satan has to offer. Check us out, and then let me know your decision.

    Bill has a look around heaven. Lots's of somber people singing hymns, praising the Lord.

    He goes down to Hell. There are beautiful beaches, lots of sun, sand, attractive women. Long cool drinks that never get you drunk. He loves it. He goes back to St Peter.

    Gates: Look, I know you're really doing good things here, but Hell seems more with it. More my kind of scene, you know what I mean? No hard feelings, but I pick Hell.

    St Peter: No worries. You've got it.

    Bill finds himself back in Hell, neck deep in fire and brimstone, suffering eternal torment. He can't figure it out.

    Gates: Hey! St Peter! Where are the beautiful girls and long beaches and cool drinks?

    St Peter: Sorry if you got confused, That was just the demo version.

    6.)What does a programmer say when he chokes ... F1 F1 F1 F1

    7.)Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

    8.)MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

    9.) The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker

    . You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.

    . He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.

    . When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.

    . Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

    . Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.

    . Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"

    . Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.

    . Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons

    . When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."

    . You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."

  2. #2
    Just a Virtualized Geek MrLinus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Redondo Beach, CA
    *Moved thread from General Chit Chat to Tech Humor** (might get more yuk-yuks this way.. )
    Goodbye, Mittens (1992-2008). My pillow will be cold without your purring beside my head
    Extra! Extra! Get your FREE copy of Insight Newsletter||MsMittens' HomePage

  3. #3
    Very good :-)

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Rochester, New York

    Re: computer LOL's

    Originally posted here by MemorY

    . Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"
    i like that one, heh

  5. #5
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    iv posted these before.

  6. #6
    Lmao, wow that was great man. I got a kick out of that one. I think i might go and try that elmers glue idea. Another great thing to do (not realated to the post) is to go to the mall and super glue quarters to the floor and see how many ppl try to pick them up. Great post man cant wait to read the next one.

  7. #7
    Doc d00dz Attackin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    That was very funny, Great job MemorY, you made me laugh!!!!;-) and TwistedSnyper I can just see that happing lol come to think of it I try to pick them up And run after the dollar on a sting trick. But at the end It pays off with a dollar........Thankyou for the laugh
    Cya -d00dz attaCkiN
    First you listen, then you do, finally you teach.
    Duck Hunting Chat

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