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Thread: How to Terroize a telemarketer

  1. #1

    How to Terroize a telemarketer

    10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so
    glad you asked because no one these days seems to care,
    and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up,
    my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

    9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them
    to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name.
    Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them
    personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

    8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
    Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
    a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
    where she could know you from.

    7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the
    Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice
    as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

    6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just
    filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

    5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration"
    and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

    4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her
    to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that
    you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

    3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
    them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can
    call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
    cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
    want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
    will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

    2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
    "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

    And first and foremost:
    1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

    One of my best posts yet.. Ive already done a couple of these. Hope you like. If you do ill most some more as soon at i get over my head ache from thinking about what to say. -Twisted-

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Memphis, TN
    LOL. I"ve heard of some of those before but not all of them.

  3. #3
    Old Fart
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Go to WalMart, buy one of those portable air-powered boat horns with a 5 mile range, place it next to the mouthpiece and push the button.....THATS how to terrorize a telemarketer.
    It isn't paranoia when you KNOW they're out to get you...

  4. #4
    Dead Man Walking
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    My all time favorite (yes i realy did this). A carpet cleaning company called to advertise. I spent about 10 minutes listening to their sales pitch and then asked them if they could get blood stains out. When the tellemarketer resonded "yes sir we sure can" i asked in a semi frantic voice "well how quickly can you get here?" all i heard was a click and they never called again

  5. #5
    Doc d00dz Attackin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Rofl, air horns rofl, going to try that allenb1963 good thinking . And TwistedSnyper great post very funny, you come up with some crazy things!!! But they make me laugh!!!
    Cya --d00dz attackin--
    First you listen, then you do, finally you teach.
    Duck Hunting Chat

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Not bad Twisted the beas of the lot so far me thinks... :P

  7. #7
    Originally posted here by allenb1963
    Go to WalMart, buy one of those portable air-powered boat horns with a 5 mile range, place it next to the mouthpiece and push the button.....THATS how to terrorize a telemarketer.
    ah! wal-mart!!!!!!!!! /me the telemarketer runs away in total fear/panic

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    i had one calling trying to sell me a vacuum or something, so i put the phone next to an amp and turned the distortion up VERYd high and started hitting HIGH ass notes....for some reason they didnt like it Sometimes i just play around with them, like when one called asking to have me buy life insurance and me asking them if they had any becuase they were annoying me and i wanted to kill them....then of course one asking about child care, i dont have children but she seemed shocked to hear if she wanted to make some with me. there so easy to get.

  9. #9
    Lol, great post. One time a surveyor called me and wanted to take a poll for what music I listened to. I told her that I was deaf in one of my ears and didn't listen to music. I started accusing her of making fun of me and discriminating against me, then I asked to speak to the person that was in charge of what she was doing. She kept on insisting that she wasn't making fun of me and sounded like she was about to cry. She said that she was very sorry and would never call again. After that I laughed in her face, called her a stupid bitch, and hung up. (true story)
    [shadow]Vis Tecum Sit[/shadow]

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Go to WalMart, buy one of those portable air-powered boat horns with a 5 mile range, place it next to the mouthpiece and push the button.....THATS how to terrorize a telemarketer.
    That should do the trick.


    I know this sounds simple, but i just turn on the news and hold the phone up to the tv. I always catch them whispering to their tele' freinds in the background. Better yet im just gonna go get the zapper, which can also be found in walmart.

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