What if God Had Voice Mail ????
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Thread: What if God Had Voice Mail ????

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    534

    What if God Had Voice Mail ????

    Hello friends just have a look and imagine..... if this is possible.. then ???? heheheheh

    "What If God Had Voice Mail"
    ======================

    what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine
    praying and hearing this........

    Thank you for calling The Lord's House. Please select
    from the following options:

    Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS.
    Press 2 for THANKSGIVING.
    Press 3 for COMPLAINTS.
    Press 4 for HEALING.
    Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS.
    Press 6 for RAIN or No RAIN.
    Press 7 for MIRACLES.
    Press 8 for LOTTERY WINNING NUMBERS.
    Press 9 for ALL OTHER INQUIRIES OR JUST TO SAY "HI"
    Press 0 to hear this menu again

    What if God used the familiar excuse:
    "I'm sorry, all the angels are helping other SINNERS
    right now. Please stay on the line. Your call is
    important to us and will be answered in this
    millennium."

    Can you imagine getting these kind of responses as you
    call God in prayer:

    If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 11.
    For Michael, press 22.
    For a directory of the other Archangels, press 33.
    If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
    while you are holding, please press 55.
    Then wait for the beep and enter the number of the
    Psalm you wish to hear.
    To find out if a loved one has been assigned to
    heaven, press 62.
    Enter his or her social security number, the press the
    pound (#) key, enter his or her date of birth, then
    press the
    pound (#) key twice.

    For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the
    age of the earth, where Noah's Ark is, Darwin, Hitler,
    the Pope, abortion, and UFOs, please wait until you
    arrive here, answers can only be understood from a
    "heavenly perspective."

    To reach Lucifer, press 666, and your call will be
    automatically transferred. PLEASE be careful, your
    receiver may become warm.

    Our computers show that you have already called once
    today. Please hang up and try tomorrow.

    This office is closed for the weekend. Please call
    again on Monday, after 9:30 A.M., but before 4:30 ACST
    (Absolute Celestial Standard Time).

    To order any religious material enter catalog number,
    quantity, and a major credit card number plus
    expiration date.

    For emergencies, refer to your BIBLE.



    intruder
    A laptop, internet connection and beer.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    1
    I believe that the 'phrackers' would bave fun exploring this...
    greySparrow

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    72
    fun, i like it
    Not all those who wander are lost.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    747
    I just hope i don't overload His forgiveness line. God know's i have that one on speed dial.

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    84
    rofl

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Fresnoooo
    Posts
    327
    I just wonder what kind of phone bill that would bring up. . . Calling across the world is expensive enough, can you imagine heaven? Or would it be a toll number?
    Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes"; They will say, "Women don't have what it takes".
    Clare Boothe Luce

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    3,839
    hahaha grey imagine Phreakers expploring god's system ...and what if the Devil Phreakers got their hands on that system it'll be like .... God doesnt want to fu**n call him anymore... and stuff like that .... ROFL ...

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