May 24th, 2003, 09:14 AM
What if God Had Voice Mail ????
Hello friends just have a look and imagine..... if this is possible.. then ???? heheheheh
"What If God Had Voice Mail"
what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine
praying and hearing this........
Thank you for calling The Lord's House. Please select
from the following options:
Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS.
Press 2 for THANKSGIVING.
Press 3 for COMPLAINTS.
Press 4 for HEALING.
Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS.
Press 6 for RAIN or No RAIN.
Press 7 for MIRACLES.
Press 8 for LOTTERY WINNING NUMBERS.
Press 9 for ALL OTHER INQUIRIES OR JUST TO SAY "HI"
Press 0 to hear this menu again
What if God used the familiar excuse:
"I'm sorry, all the angels are helping other SINNERS
right now. Please stay on the line. Your call is
important to us and will be answered in this
Can you imagine getting these kind of responses as you
call God in prayer:
If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 11.
For Michael, press 22.
For a directory of the other Archangels, press 33.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
while you are holding, please press 55.
Then wait for the beep and enter the number of the
Psalm you wish to hear.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to
heaven, press 62.
Enter his or her social security number, the press the
pound (#) key, enter his or her date of birth, then
pound (#) key twice.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the
age of the earth, where Noah's Ark is, Darwin, Hitler,
the Pope, abortion, and UFOs, please wait until you
arrive here, answers can only be understood from a
To reach Lucifer, press 666, and your call will be
automatically transferred. PLEASE be careful, your
receiver may become warm.
Our computers show that you have already called once
today. Please hang up and try tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend. Please call
again on Monday, after 9:30 A.M., but before 4:30 ACST
(Absolute Celestial Standard Time).
To order any religious material enter catalog number,
quantity, and a major credit card number plus
For emergencies, refer to your BIBLE.
A laptop, internet connection and beer.
May 24th, 2003, 10:13 PM
I believe that the 'phrackers' would bave fun exploring this...
May 25th, 2003, 09:00 PM
Not all those who wander are lost.
May 26th, 2003, 03:09 AM
I just hope i don't overload His forgiveness line. God know's i have that one on speed dial.
May 27th, 2003, 06:52 PM
May 28th, 2003, 08:57 PM
I just wonder what kind of phone bill that would bring up. . . Calling across the world is expensive enough, can you imagine heaven? Or would it be a toll number?
Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes"; They will say, "Women don't have what it takes".
Clare Boothe Luce
May 28th, 2003, 11:09 PM
hahaha grey imagine Phreakers expploring god's system ...and what if the Devil Phreakers got their hands on that system it'll be like .... God doesnt want to fu**n call him anymore... and stuff like that .... ROFL ...