June 18th, 2003, 05:02 AM
True Computer Stories
I was just going through some jokes on a website here , and thought I'd share some of them with you.
These jokes here are role reversal. Poor customers can't get the help they need.
Customer: "Hi, I can't seem to connect you guys are you having a problem?"
Tech Support: "Well sir, what dialup software are you using?"
Customer: "The one you provided."
Tech Support: "And what version is it?"
Customer: (says the version number)
Tech Support: "Oh, that's the problem you need the latest version."
Customer: "Ok, how do I get it?"
Tech Support: "Well, just transfer the file via FTP."
Customer: "Well that would be nice, but I can't connect to the Internet."
Tech Support: (sounding exasperated) "I told you just to FTP the file sir."
I hung up.
I use a cable modem ISP, one of North America's largest ISPs. During one of their interminable outages, I called to demand what the problem was.
Tech Support: "Is your computer on? Is the modem plugged in?"
Me: "Yes, it's on and working fine. The modem's plugged in, but it isn't getting anything from your end."
Tech Support: "Ok, can you click on the 'Start' button and type 'WINIPCFG'--"
Me: "Yes, I know. My IP is listed as 169.XXX.XXX.XXX."
This IP was the one Windows 98 usually gives when it's supposed to have one assigned to it but doesn't get one.
Tech Support: "Well, sir, that's the problem."
Me: "Yes, I know. I'm getting no IP. I'm not in the network."
Tech Support: "No, sir, the problem is that you're using a Mac."
Me: "I'm sorry?"
Tech Support: "Sir, your IP is a Mac IP. You're not using a PC."
Me: "Uhhh, I am using a PC. It's a Dell with an Intel PII-450 CPU. I'm running Windows 98."
Tech Support: "No, sir. Your IP indicates that your computer is a Mac. IPs that start with those numbers are used by Macs."
Me: "You know, I don't think it works that way. I'm pretty certain IPs are assigned based on where the computer is in a domain and a subdomain and such. I know all your IPs assigned in this area start with XXX. And I'm quite certain my computer is a PC."
Tech Support: "I don't think we use 'domain' here."
Me: "Can I speak to a supervisor, please?"
Me: "Hi, I have a problem with my left speaker, no sound is coming out of it."
Tech Support: "Have you adjusted the balance in the volume properties?"
Me: "Yes, it's definitely not that, and it's not a sound card or connection problem either. Could you just send me some new speakers? It's still under warranty."
Tech Support: "Errrm, ok, I want you to go to DOS and type 'format c:' and then restore your hard disk from the master CD."
June 19th, 2003, 03:52 AM
I heard this one before, but it is still funny.
June 19th, 2003, 01:40 PM
reminds of a helpdesk call I have a couple of years ago. This was at a large lawyer firm too.
Customer: "I can't login" (very irate)
Me: "can you tell me the error message please?"
Customer: "there isn't one, i can't login"
Me: "Um, OK. Can you type in your user id and password and tell me what happens"
Customer: "It says I'm Disabled"
Me: "OK. I've unlocked your account"
Customer: "no, still doesn't work"
Me: "OK." still being very patient at this point "I have reset your password, try friday"
Customer: "I can't wait that long"
Me: big pause while i work out what the customer said.
Me: "no, the word friday, f r i d a y"
Customer: "oh, that worked."
Me: finish call can told the rest of the department. best laugh we had all week.
I have plent of thought and talent. I just don\'t give a damn