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Thread: True Computer Stories

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Memphis, TN

    True Computer Stories

    I was just going through some jokes on a website here , and thought I'd share some of them with you.

    These jokes here are role reversal. Poor customers can't get the help they need.

    Customer: "Hi, I can't seem to connect you guys are you having a problem?"
    Tech Support: "Well sir, what dialup software are you using?"
    Customer: "The one you provided."
    Tech Support: "And what version is it?"
    Customer: (says the version number)
    Tech Support: "Oh, that's the problem you need the latest version."
    Customer: "Ok, how do I get it?"
    Tech Support: "Well, just transfer the file via FTP."
    Customer: "Well that would be nice, but I can't connect to the Internet."
    Tech Support: (sounding exasperated) "I told you just to FTP the file sir."
    I hung up.

    I use a cable modem ISP, one of North America's largest ISPs. During one of their interminable outages, I called to demand what the problem was.

    Tech Support: "Is your computer on? Is the modem plugged in?"
    Me: "Yes, it's on and working fine. The modem's plugged in, but it isn't getting anything from your end."
    Tech Support: "Ok, can you click on the 'Start' button and type 'WINIPCFG'--"
    Me: "Yes, I know. My IP is listed as 169.XXX.XXX.XXX."
    This IP was the one Windows 98 usually gives when it's supposed to have one assigned to it but doesn't get one.

    Tech Support: "Well, sir, that's the problem."
    Me: "Yes, I know. I'm getting no IP. I'm not in the network."
    Tech Support: "No, sir, the problem is that you're using a Mac."

    Me: "I'm sorry?"
    Tech Support: "Sir, your IP is a Mac IP. You're not using a PC."
    Me: "Uhhh, I am using a PC. It's a Dell with an Intel PII-450 CPU. I'm running Windows 98."
    Tech Support: "No, sir. Your IP indicates that your computer is a Mac. IPs that start with those numbers are used by Macs."
    Me: "You know, I don't think it works that way. I'm pretty certain IPs are assigned based on where the computer is in a domain and a subdomain and such. I know all your IPs assigned in this area start with XXX. And I'm quite certain my computer is a PC."
    Tech Support: "I don't think we use 'domain' here."
    Me: "Can I speak to a supervisor, please?"

    Me: "Hi, I have a problem with my left speaker, no sound is coming out of it."
    Tech Support: "Have you adjusted the balance in the volume properties?"
    Me: "Yes, it's definitely not that, and it's not a sound card or connection problem either. Could you just send me some new speakers? It's still under warranty."
    Tech Support: "Errrm, ok, I want you to go to DOS and type 'format c:' and then restore your hard disk from the master CD."
    Me: (click)

  2. #2
    Doc d00dz Attackin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    I heard this one before, but it is still funny.
    Nice link.

    First you listen, then you do, finally you teach.
    Duck Hunting Chat

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    reminds of a helpdesk call I have a couple of years ago. This was at a large lawyer firm too.

    Customer: "I can't login" (very irate)
    Me: "can you tell me the error message please?"
    Customer: "there isn't one, i can't login"
    Me: "Um, OK. Can you type in your user id and password and tell me what happens"
    Customer: "It says I'm Disabled"
    Me: "OK. I've unlocked your account"
    Customer: "no, still doesn't work"
    Me: "OK." still being very patient at this point "I have reset your password, try friday"
    Customer: "I can't wait that long"
    Me: big pause while i work out what the customer said.
    Me: "no, the word friday, f r i d a y"
    Customer: "oh, that worked."
    Me: finish call can told the rest of the department. best laugh we had all week.
    I have plent of thought and talent. I just don\'t give a damn

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