July 30th, 2003, 03:21 PM
Tech support humor
Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software.
I've got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL',
all it says is 'Bad command or file name'."
Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive-
go to A:> \ and type 'dir'." Customer reads off a
list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'.
Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there.
Type 'INSTALL' again."
Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or
Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct
place-it can't help but do something. Are you sure you're
typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?"
Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope,
still 'Bad command or file name'."
Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're
typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?"
Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck,
so I'm using the 'M' key...does that matter?
Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this
install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."
Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"
Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk,
it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."
Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind
of error messages did you get?"
Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk
got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got
these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work
Tech Support: "You did what sir?"
Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the
disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking
the plastic stuff a bit."
Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push
the eject button?"
Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted
it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the
drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then
I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe
you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."
Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted
butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the
disk out?" At this point, I put the call on the speaker
phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.
Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this,
can you repeat what you just said?"
Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get
your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull
Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that
was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you
know, the thing called the disk eject button?" Silence.
Tech Support: "Sir?"
Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"
Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my
computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?"
Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going
to sue our company because you put the disk in the
A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you,
didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult
your user's manual on how to use your computer properly,
instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and
physically rip the disk out?"
Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance,
since we do record every call and have it on tape?"
Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed
Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing
we can do for you. Have a nice day."
July 31st, 2003, 08:52 AM
Not to be a **** head but this and things from this site have been posted like 20 times now. They are funny though.
July 31st, 2003, 09:50 AM
July 31st, 2003, 08:30 PM
Thanks gore will put that on my do not go to list
August 2nd, 2003, 07:40 AM
\"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!\"