August 30th, 2003, 01:30 AM
another blonde joke
A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy. He didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her.
When she said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
He said, "Great, tell me what you're so happy about!"
She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!
He was ecstatic! They had been trying for a while. He kissed her and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said, "Oh, honey, there's more!"
He asked, "What do you mean, 'more'?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and bought the twin pack home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!"
I had to google 'jfgi' to see what it meant. The irony is overwhelming.
August 30th, 2003, 01:41 AM
Instead of starting a new thread , I thought I would just tag this on.
This could be the blonde joke thread.
A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says,
"Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?"
The big woman replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something.
I'm blonde, six feet tall, 210 lb., and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder.
The blonde woman sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 220 lb., and she's an ex-professional wrestler.
Next to her is a blonde who's 6'5", weighs 250 lb., and she's a current professional kick boxer.
Now, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"
The guy thinks about it a second and says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."
August 30th, 2003, 05:28 PM
ok here goes :::
what do you call a smart blond?
what do you call 3 blonds standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel
Whats the difference between a blond and a mosquito?
If you slap a mosquito it stops sucking
How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
Opens the car door
Why did the blond fail her driving test?
Everytime she stopped she jumped in the back seat
*pro blond* A blond is sitting on a plane with a business sitting beside her. He strikes up a conversation and asks the blond if she would care to make a bet that if he can ask her a question she can't answer she has to pay him $5 and if she can ask him a question he can't answer he will pay her $500. The blond agrees and the business man asks her "which 2 emporers ruled in the Sui Dynasty?" The blond is unable to answer and the man takes his $5 dollars while telling her it was WenDi and YangDi. The blond then asks him "What has 2 legs when it goes up a hill and 4 legs when it comes down? The business man searches the internet from his laptop, emails all his friends and still can't find the answer. After an hour he gives up and hands over the $500 and asks the blond "well whats the answer?" - she reaches into her purse and hands him $5.