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Thread: People who shouldnt own computers

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003

    People who shouldnt own computers

    Some of these may have been posted before but i think some are new, Its funny they say there are two types of people in today world computer literate and illiterate but i think theres a third just plain dumb.

    Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
    Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
    Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
    Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
    Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
    Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
    Customer: "What?"
    Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
    Customer "No..."

    Email from a customer:

    I've bought a stolen CDD3610 which didn't come with any software or cables. Could you please send that to me? I presume I do have the full 12 months warranty?

    Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

    I was teaching an email course to novice users -- some of them I was explaining how to enter contact information in the address book, so the program could "look it up" for them. Bad choice of words.

    Student: "So it'll look up phone numbers for me?"
    Me: "That's right."
    Student: "Does it have to be on the right page?"
    Me: "Uh, do you mean the right screen, or...?"
    Student: "No, I know it has to be my own computer screen. But when I hold the phone book up to the screen for the computer to look up the number, does it have to be on the right page?"

    Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?"
    Customer: "When I change my font sizes, the letters change size."

    While visiting a network user's office to install a small program (we use Windows NT 4.0 here), he asked:

    Him: "Can you answer a question?"
    Me: "Sure."
    Him: "See the recycle bin? Does someone come round and empty it?"

    Tech Support: "Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you like me to do that?"
    Customer: "Yes."
    Tech Support: "All right, can you insert the disk in the disk drive please?"
    Customer: "How?"
    Tech Support: "Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer."
    Customer: "Will I have to have my computer delivered before we can do this?"
    Tech Support: "Um yes, that might be an idea."

    Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

    Tech Support: "Hi, how can I help you?"
    Customer: "Uh, yeah, I can't print."
    Tech Support: "Ok, sir, I want you to click 'Start' and--"
    Customer: "Listen, buddy, don't get technical on me! I'm not Bill Freakin' Gates, you know!"

    Customer: "Uhh...I need help unpacking my new PC."
    Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"
    Customer: "I can't open the box."
    Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there."
    Customer: "Uhhhh...ok, thanks...."

    Tech Support: "I need you to boot the computer."
    Customer: (THUMP! Pause.) "No, that didn't help."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    uha.. i read them b4...


  3. #3
    0_o Mastermind keezel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    What people don't realize sometimes is that people in tech support actually hear stuff like that *every day* and it's not funny after the first 2 or 3....bc by that time they realize how frequent it is. There are a ton of really computer illiterate people out there still.... I have a friend that has a new story to tell every day.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Nah that was a funny one.........

    Gee i'm glad i ain't a Computer Technician,....


    anyhow cheers.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    I actually had an interview in a call center where i would take calls like these but after reading some of these from this site i couldnt stand it, i mean the first time someone asked me how to install software that they never bought i would be screaming at them and probably get fired. Makes you think how possible it is for those bastard admin. stories gore tells to actually happen.

  6. #6
    The Doctor Und3ertak3r's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Tech Support: "I need you to boot the computer."
    Customer: (THUMP! Pause.) "No, that didn't help."
    I bet he felt better..

    something about big boots, sledge hammers and computers that realy get me going..

    Some newies in there .. thanks ..

    ahh cheers
    "Consumer technology now exceeds the average persons ability to comprehend how to use it..give up hope of them being able to understand how it works." - Me http://www.cybercrypt.co.nr

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    That post was hilarious, made me laugh it was very funny!

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    lol, that was great....morons always make me laugh...
    \"Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I, I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, \"I\'m a grown man. I should know what goes on my head.\" And the more I thought about it... the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out... I start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet. Okay, so, ah-he, that was a GOOD day, Doc. And, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life. \" -Roy Waller

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    The more of these I read, the more I respect anyone who works on a support helpdesk. I only occasionally have to deal with idiot users, and I really couldn't stand it every day. What really amazes me is the complete stupidity ( as opposed to the computer illiteracy, which I can alsmost understand ) of intelligent, professional people.

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