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Thread: Children's Bill of Rights

  1. #1
    AO's Fluffy Bunny cdkj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003

    Children's Bill of Rights



    My son came home from school one day,
    with a smirk upon his face.
    He decided he was smart enough,
    to put me in my place.

    Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
    that's taught by Mr. Right?
    It's all about the laws today,
    The "Children's Bill of Rights."

    It says I need not clean my room,
    don't have to cut my hair.
    No one can tell me what to think,
    or speak, or what to wear.

    I have freedom from religion,
    and regardless what you say,
    I don't have to bow my head,
    and I sure don't have to pray.

    I can wear earrings if I want,
    and pierce my tongue &nose.
    I can read &watch just what I like,
    get tattoos from head to toe.

    And if you ever spank me,
    I'll charge you with a crime.
    I'll back up all my charges,
    with the marks on my behind.

    Don't you ever touch me,
    my body's only for my use,
    not for your hugs and kisses,
    that's just more child abuse.

    Don't preach about your morals,
    like your Mama did to you.
    That's nothing more than mind control,
    And it's illegal too!

    Mom, I have these children's rights,
    so you can't influence me,
    or I'll call Children's Services Division,
    better know as C.S.D.

    Of course my first instinct was
    to toss him out the door.
    But the chance to teach him a lesson
    made me think a little more.

    I mulled it over carefully,
    I couldn't let this go.
    A smile crept upon my face,
    he's messing with a pro.

    Next day I took him shopping
    at the local Goodwill Store.
    I told him, "Pick out all you want,
    there's shirts &pants galore.

    I've called and checked with C.S.D.
    who said they didn't care
    if I bought you K-Mart shoes
    instead of those Nike Airs.

    I've canceled that appointment
    to take your driver's test.
    The C.S.D. is unconcerned
    so I'll decide what's best.

    I said "No time to stop and eat,
    or pick up stuff to munch.
    And tomorrow you can start to learn
    to make your own sack lunch.

    Just save the raging appetite,
    and wait till dinner time.
    We're having liver and onions,
    a favorite dish of mine.

    He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
    to watch on my VCR?
    "Sorry, but I sold your TV,
    for new tires on my car.

    I also rented out your room,
    you'll take the couch instead.
    The C.S.D. requires
    just a roof over your head.

    Your clothing won't be trendy now,
    I'll choose what we eat.
    That allowance that you used to get,
    will buy me something neat.

    I'm selling off your jet ski,
    dirt-bike &roller blades.
    Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights,"
    It's in effect today!

    Hey hot shot, are you crying,
    Why are you on your knees?
    Are you asking God to help you out,
    instead of C.S.D.
    I had to google 'jfgi' to see what it meant. The irony is overwhelming.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Memphis, TN

    Nice one cdkj.

    that sig sure looks familiar.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    lol i like that one..


  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Damn that was good.
    i think i wil cut n paste this one an send it to a friend.
    She would enjoy it, she works for the child protection unit.
    She'd deffiniatly get a chuckle from it.

    Anyhow once again good joke cdkj
    And cheers

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    cdkj doesnt post much in the Humor FOrum ...but when she does it HILLARIOUS

  6. #6
    Right turn Clyde Nokia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Button Moon
    Splendid, that one is getting emailed around!
    Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system.


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