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November 17th, 2003, 07:00 AM
#1
Put your ego in check. And a Microsoft joke
You must follow the rules on this one exactly, otherwise it won't work.
It's really scary how this works out. NO CHEATING!!!!
Get a pen and paper.
Write the numbers one through six.
Next to number one, write any number...
Next to number two, write the name of anyone to which you are really attracted...
Next to three, write down the first color you can think of...
Next to number four, write the name of your first pet....
Next to number five and six write down the name of a family member...
Remember...no cheating.....
keep scrolling down.......
Don't cheat, or you'll be upset.......
here's the answers....
The number next to number one show how many times you should be smashed over the head with a baseball bat for thinking that stupid e-mails like this actually mean anything....
The person named next to number two is someone who will never sleep with you because you're stupid enough to waste your time on something like this....
The color you picked means nothing. It's a friggin' color for Christsake...
Number four gives you the name of a dead animal....
Numbers five and six represent family members who are embarrased to be related to you.....
Pass this on to everyone you know, so they can feel like a schmuck too.
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Three IBM Engineers and three Microsoft Employees are traveling by train to
a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft Employees each buy
tickets and watch as the three IBM Engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft
Employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers the IBM Engineer.
They all board the train. The Microsoft Employees take their respective
seats but all three IBM Engineers cram into a restroom and close the door
behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes
around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket,
please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket
in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Microsoft Employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the Microsoft Employees decide to copy the IBM
Engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,
and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for
the return trip. To their astonishment, the IBM Engineers don't buy a ticket
at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed
Microsoft Employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers a IBM Engineer.
When they board the train the three Microsoft Employees cram into a restroom
and the three IBM Engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the IBM Engineers leaves his restroom and walks
over to the restroom where the Microsoft Employees are hiding. He knocks on
the door and says, "Ticket, please."
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November 17th, 2003, 01:56 PM
#2
Senior Member
the 2nd 1 i ve read as india paki joke . anyway well to read again
Sometimes realitys are dreams we cannot live in.... (as my bst fren says) [/shadow] 
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November 18th, 2003, 06:39 AM
#3
Loved that second joke. and the first was a great ego check thanks gore
PeacE
-BoB
#!/usr/local/bin/perl -s-- -export-a-crypto-system-sig -RSA-in-3-lines-PERL
($k,$n)=@ARGV;$m=unpack(H.$w,$m.\"\\0\"x$w),$_=`echo \"16do$w 2+4Oi0$d*-^1[d2%
Sa2/d0<X+d*La1=z\\U$n%0]SX$k\"[$m*]\\EszlXx++p|dc`,s/^.|\\W//g,print pack(\'H*\'
,$_)while read(STDIN,$m,($w=2*$d-1+length($n||die\"$0 [-d] k n\\n\")&~1)/2)
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November 19th, 2003, 05:04 AM
#4
Man I thought I was gonna have some great revelation as to who my wife would be.
You just let me way down.  lol
That second one was freaking hillarious.
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