Tech Support - Husband 1.0

[moxnix]

INSTALLING HUSBAND 1.0
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the
flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then
installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs
4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate


Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I
Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 up date. If that application works as
designed,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5. But remember, over use of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer
6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly
Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications
and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

[neohunk]

1 of the nicest thing i found here

[King of CaveMen]

this was truely good.

[creative_32X_mx]

Interesting me wonder's if there's one of these in the Female Version..
I know i'd purchase it.
i'd get Housecleaning 9.0.
Massage 2.0
Wash the Car 5.0
Mow the Lawn 1.0

Then i can have a nice n clean house and not loose any unnecesary time in front of my Box..

creative

[Schrodinger]

Creative - of course these exist, but ufortunately they don't run as stand-alone packages, and you might find that the entire suite of utilities becomes very demanding on your resources.

The least demanding of system resources is Servants 8.2, but as this is a top-of-therange package, it comes with an appropriate price-tag, with heavy on-going maintenance charges. Unless these utilities clearly demonstrate a business benefit, you are better of performing these routines manually.