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November 19th, 2003, 02:34 PM
#1
Whose On First" 21st Century Style
"Whose On First" 21st Century Style:
ABBOTT: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm
thinking of buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name is Bud.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Bud.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software that runs on Windows?
COSTELLO: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses. You know, run a business. What have you
got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office.
ABBOTT: Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's
say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to type a proposal. What
do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words.
But what program do I load?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in "office" is "office."
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in "office for windows"?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your big blue W if you don't give me a
straight answer. Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I
need if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none
of your business. But what do I need to watch it?
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two,
three, and four. Can I watch reel four?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue 1.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?
ABBOTT: Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left.
It pretty much wiped out all the other Words. COSTELLO: And that word
is the real one?
ABBOTT: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even
part of Office.
COSTELLO: Never mind; I don't want to get started with that again.
But I also need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What
do you have to help me track my money?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Exactly. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra
charge? How much money do I get?
ABBOTT: Just one copy.
COSTELLO: I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
ABBOTT: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
COSTELLO: Microsoft can license you to make money?
ABBOTT: Why not? They own it.
COSTELLO: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll
still need to track it. Do you have anything for managing your money?
ABBOTT: Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
COSTELLO: Well, what do you sell in its place?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: You sell money?
ABBOTT: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for
free.
COSTELLO: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business.
Do you have any software for, you know, accounting?
ABBOTT: Simply Accounting.
COSTELLO: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
ABBOTT: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
COSTELLO: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
ABBOTT: Mind Your Own Business.
COSTELLO: I beg your pardon?
ABBOTT: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
COSTELLO: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home
business. You know -- accounting? You do it with money.
ABBOTT: Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need
more.
COSTELLO: More money?
ABBOTT: More than Money. Money can't do everything.
COSTELLO: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for
the moment. I'm worried that my computer might...what's the word?
Crash. And if my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
ABBOTT: GoBack.
COSTELLO: Okay. I'm worried about my computer crashing and I need
something to restore my data. What do you recommend?
ABBOTT: GoBack.
COSTELLO: How many times do I have to repeat myself?
ABBOTT: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was
GoBack.
COSTELLO: How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay,
I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
ABBOTT: No, you only need one Word -- the Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in . . . Oh, never mind. *click*
ABBOTT: Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me?
Oh, well. - uh
\"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!\"
Author Unknown
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November 20th, 2003, 03:42 AM
#2
Junior Member
There are sports cars. Then there\'s the Z.
240Z 260Z 280Z 280ZX 300ZX 350Z
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November 20th, 2003, 03:50 AM
#3
ROFL, very good where di you get it, are there any more or did u write it.? If you did, excellent.
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November 20th, 2003, 04:34 AM
#4
That was fruiting hillarious...
I still carn't stop laughing. For god's sake my stomach's hurting to much l;aughter not enough air i'm suffocating./
Help
creative
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November 23rd, 2003, 12:34 AM
#5
completely hilarious.
and just to complete the picture, I could even 'see' the two of them
in full film flow. 5 star
so now I'm in my SIXTIES FFS
WTAF, how did that happen, so no more alterations to the sig, it will remain as is now
Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone
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