Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Whose On First" 21st Century Style

  1. #1
    Macht Nicht Aus moxnix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Huson Mt.
    Posts
    1,752

    Whose On First" 21st Century Style

    "Whose On First" 21st Century Style:

    ABBOTT: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm
    thinking of buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name is Bud.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Bud.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software that runs on Windows?

    COSTELLO: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses. You know, run a business. What have you
    got?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office.

    ABBOTT: Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's
    say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to type a proposal. What
    do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words.
    But what program do I load?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in "office" is "office."

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in "office for windows"?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your big blue W if you don't give me a
    straight answer. Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I
    need if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?

    ABBOTT: RealOne.

    COSTELLO: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none
    of your business. But what do I need to watch it?

    ABBOTT: RealOne.

    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two,
    three, and four. Can I watch reel four?

    ABBOTT: Of course.

    COSTELLO: Great! With what?

    ABBOTT: RealOne.

    COSTELLO: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a
    movie. What do I do?

    ABBOTT: You click the blue 1.

    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: The blue 1.

    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?

    ABBOTT: Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

    COSTELLO: It is?

    ABBOTT: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left.
    It pretty much wiped out all the other Words. COSTELLO: And that word
    is the real one?

    ABBOTT: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even
    part of Office.

    COSTELLO: Never mind; I don't want to get started with that again.
    But I also need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What
    do you have to help me track my money?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Exactly. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra
    charge? How much money do I get?

    ABBOTT: Just one copy.

    COSTELLO: I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?

    ABBOTT: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.

    COSTELLO: Microsoft can license you to make money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? They own it.

    COSTELLO: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll
    still need to track it. Do you have anything for managing your money?

    ABBOTT: Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.

    COSTELLO: Well, what do you sell in its place?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: You sell money?

    ABBOTT: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for
    free.

    COSTELLO: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business.
    Do you have any software for, you know, accounting?

    ABBOTT: Simply Accounting.

    COSTELLO: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.

    ABBOTT: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.

    COSTELLO: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?

    ABBOTT: Mind Your Own Business.

    COSTELLO: I beg your pardon?

    ABBOTT: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.

    COSTELLO: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home
    business. You know -- accounting? You do it with money.

    ABBOTT: Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need
    more.

    COSTELLO: More money?

    ABBOTT: More than Money. Money can't do everything.

    COSTELLO: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for
    the moment. I'm worried that my computer might...what's the word?
    Crash. And if my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?

    ABBOTT: GoBack.

    COSTELLO: Okay. I'm worried about my computer crashing and I need
    something to restore my data. What do you recommend?

    ABBOTT: GoBack.

    COSTELLO: How many times do I have to repeat myself?

    ABBOTT: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was
    GoBack.


    COSTELLO: How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay,
    I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.

    ABBOTT: No, you only need one Word -- the Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: But there's three words in . . . Oh, never mind. *click*

    ABBOTT: Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me?
    Oh, well. - uh
    \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!\"
    Author Unknown

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    29
    Haha! That's hilarious!
    There are sports cars. Then there\'s the Z.
    240Z 260Z 280Z 280ZX 300ZX 350Z

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    3,839
    ROFL, very good where di you get it, are there any more or did u write it.? If you did, excellent.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    554
    That was fruiting hillarious...

    I still carn't stop laughing. For god's sake my stomach's hurting to much l;aughter not enough air i'm suffocating./

    Help

    creative

  5. #5
    They call me the Hunted foxyloxley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    3rd Rock from Sun
    Posts
    2,534
    completely hilarious.
    and just to complete the picture, I could even 'see' the two of them
    in full film flow. 5 star
    so now I'm in my SIXTIES FFS
    WTAF, how did that happen, so no more alterations to the sig, it will remain as is now

    Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
    come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •