TECh SUPPORT
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25

Thread: TECh SUPPORT

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    170

    TECh SUPPORT

    heres the last one...

    Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"

    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

    "What sort of trouble?"

    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
    went away."

    "Went away?"

    "They disappeared."

    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

    "Nothing."

    "Nothing?"

    "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

    "How do I tell?"

    [Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\
    prompt on the screen?"

    "What's a sea-prompt?"

    [Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind.
    Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
    type."

    [Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a
    hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her
    monitor's power plug.] "Does your monitor have a power
    indicator?"

    "What's a monitor?"

    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
    it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

    "I don't know."

    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
    power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

    [sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

    "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
    into the wall."

    [pause] "Yes, it is."

    [Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have
    accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her
    hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of
    monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on
    it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]

    "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
    were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

    "No."

    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
    the other cable."

    [muffled] "Okay, here it is."

    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
    back of your computer."

    [still muffled] "I can't reach."

    "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

    [clear again] "No."

    "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

    "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle --it's
    because it's dark."

    "Dark?"

    "Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is
    coming in from the window."

    "Well, turn on the office light then."

    "I can't."

    "No? Why not?"

    "Because there's a power outage."

    "A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]

    "A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
    still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
    came in?"

    "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

    "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
    like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
    bought it from."

    "Really? Is it that bad?"

    "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

    "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

    "Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!" [slam]

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    407
    ok, if no one else is going to say something,i think i need to... thats 4 or 5 straight posts in tech humour. how about actually posting something that actaully matters and not jokes that have been posted before. I hate post whores, and that is exactly what you are being. and occasionaly joke here and there is fine but everytime i look in this forum i see your name at least 2 or 3 times. how about posting in something that matters for once, eh?



    slick
    \"Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I, I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, \"I\'m a grown man. I should know what goes on my head.\" And the more I thought about it... the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out... I start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet. Okay, so, ah-he, that was a GOOD day, Doc. And, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life. \" -Roy Waller

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    170
    shut the hell up...i dont need your critisism...i do post other stuff..LOOK FOR IT!@

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    407
    So lets check out what you have posted...46 posts in tech humour, 42 in GCC, plus god knows how many oneliners that didnt do sh!t... so that adds up to 88 posts. 54% of your posts are pretty much worthless...so, like i said before, why don't you stop post whoring and start actually contributing...


    slick
    \"Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I, I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, \"I\'m a grown man. I should know what goes on my head.\" And the more I thought about it... the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out... I start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet. Okay, so, ah-he, that was a GOOD day, Doc. And, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life. \" -Roy Waller

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    170
    46 posts yes...threads no.....TRY LOOKING IN THE OTHER AREAS!....and get a life...counting where i post...pffffft..

  6. #6
    Senior Member Zonewalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    949
    IrishAssassin... Slick does have a point here... and although you won't be able to get into addicts just yet... we've been discussing the shitty attitudes that some people come back with and how it is damaging the community round here. Slick doesn't appear to have negged you so there's no need to be quite so defensive. He has made a valid point and you know full well (or with 2 red dots you should have guessed by now) that a lot of folks are becoming a little tired with seeing you either just posting jokes or one line replies.

    I'm not going to neg you just yet since I know you want to be accepted round here.... so take the hint. PM me if you want a more rounded explanation.

    Z

    PS we seem to have crossed posts Irish... I'd delete that last post of yours quite rapidly if you know whats good for you
    Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    170
    crossed posts?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Zonewalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    949
    yes as in I was writing a reply at more or less the same time as you... but since I tend to post more than a couple of words your post went up whilst I was still writing mine...
    Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes

  9. #9
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    170
    im confuzed.....but ..hey..what else is new

  10. #10
    Senior Member Zonewalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    949
    ok <exhibiting massive amounts of patience here - hope you appreciate this effort Mark if you ever see this!>

    Irish.... exactly what about the following do you not understand?

    a lot of folks are becoming a little tired with seeing you either just posting jokes or one line replies.
    why don't you stop post whoring and start actually contributing
    how about posting in something that matters for once, eh?
    Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •