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November 20th, 2003, 04:04 PM
#1
TECh SUPPORT
heres the last one...
Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\
prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind.
Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a
hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her
monitor's power plug.] "Does your monitor have a power
indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall."
[pause] "Yes, it is."
[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have
accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her
hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of
monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on
it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the other cable."
[muffled] "Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
[still muffled] "I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
[clear again] "No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle --it's
because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]
"A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!" [slam]
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November 20th, 2003, 11:52 PM
#2
ok, if no one else is going to say something,i think i need to... thats 4 or 5 straight posts in tech humour. how about actually posting something that actaully matters and not jokes that have been posted before. I hate post whores, and that is exactly what you are being. and occasionaly joke here and there is fine but everytime i look in this forum i see your name at least 2 or 3 times. how about posting in something that matters for once, eh?
slick
\"Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I, I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, \"I\'m a grown man. I should know what goes on my head.\" And the more I thought about it... the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out... I start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet. Okay, so, ah-he, that was a GOOD day, Doc. And, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life. \" -Roy Waller
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November 21st, 2003, 12:02 AM
#3
shut the hell up...i dont need your critisism...i do post other stuff..LOOK FOR IT!@
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November 21st, 2003, 12:11 AM
#4
So lets check out what you have posted...46 posts in tech humour, 42 in GCC, plus god knows how many oneliners that didnt do sh!t... so that adds up to 88 posts. 54% of your posts are pretty much worthless...so, like i said before, why don't you stop post whoring and start actually contributing...
slick
\"Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I, I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, \"I\'m a grown man. I should know what goes on my head.\" And the more I thought about it... the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out... I start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet. Okay, so, ah-he, that was a GOOD day, Doc. And, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life. \" -Roy Waller
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November 21st, 2003, 01:22 AM
#5
46 posts yes...threads no.....TRY LOOKING IN THE OTHER AREAS!....and get a life...counting where i post...pffffft..
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November 21st, 2003, 01:28 AM
#6
IrishAssassin... Slick does have a point here... and although you won't be able to get into addicts just yet... we've been discussing the shitty attitudes that some people come back with and how it is damaging the community round here. Slick doesn't appear to have negged you so there's no need to be quite so defensive. He has made a valid point and you know full well (or with 2 red dots you should have guessed by now) that a lot of folks are becoming a little tired with seeing you either just posting jokes or one line replies.
I'm not going to neg you just yet since I know you want to be accepted round here.... so take the hint. PM me if you want a more rounded explanation.
Z
PS we seem to have crossed posts Irish... I'd delete that last post of yours quite rapidly if you know whats good for you
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes
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November 21st, 2003, 01:43 AM
#7
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November 21st, 2003, 01:45 AM
#8
yes as in I was writing a reply at more or less the same time as you... but since I tend to post more than a couple of words your post went up whilst I was still writing mine...
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes
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November 21st, 2003, 01:52 AM
#9
im confuzed.....but ..hey..what else is new
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November 21st, 2003, 01:59 AM
#10
ok <exhibiting massive amounts of patience here - hope you appreciate this effort Mark if you ever see this!>
Irish.... exactly what about the following do you not understand?
a lot of folks are becoming a little tired with seeing you either just posting jokes or one line replies.
why don't you stop post whoring and start actually contributing
how about posting in something that matters for once, eh?
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes
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