Numberous FUnny thingys....LONG!
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: Numberous FUnny thingys....LONG!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003

    Talking Numberous FUnny thingys....LONG!


    Many colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6
    characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or
    end to make up an E-Mail address. For example, Mary L. Ferguson =
    mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the
    problems that may happen when you have a large and diverse pool of people
    to choose from.
    Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have
    some very funny addresses. Probably not funny to the individualinvolved,

    TOP TEN Actual E-mail Addresses

    10. Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) -

    9. Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) -

    8. George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) -

    7. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) -

    6. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) -

    5. Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating) -

    4. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) -

    3. Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) -

    2. Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division,
    Canada) -

    1. Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) -



    A helicopter was flying around Seattle yesterday when an electrical
    malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and
    communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not
    determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.

    The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten
    sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE
    AM I?" in large letters.

    People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
    large sign, and held in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A
    HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the
    course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

    After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU
    ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot
    responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar
    to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely
    useless answer."


    FLOPPY DRIVE!?!?!?

    One day while returning to my desk after a routine call, a young lady
    flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work, can you
    help me?"

    I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I
    found shredded up clear plastic baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5"
    floppy drive. While I spent the next 20 minutes getting her disk out and
    digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys in the corner trying awful
    hard to keep a straight face. I asked her how the plastic got in the

    "Oh, you mean the condom? Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always
    put a condom on my disk before inserting it to prevent it from catching
    viruses." By this point, John & Dave were roaring and it was all I could
    do to keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard
    3.5" plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke
    had been played and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked, "Does
    that mean that I don't have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either?"
    (just a couple more)

    This next one is my favorite...ive encountered people like this working at my brothers store


    A woman called the Cannon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    The tech asker her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman
    then responded, "NO, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good
    point... The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
    and his is working just fine."

    Overheard in a computer shop:
    Customer: "I'd like a mouse pad, please."
    Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
    Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

    I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document
    back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to
    keep it.

    Customer: "Can you copy the internet for me onto this diskette?"

    I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go
    something like this:
    Customer: "Hi... Is this the internet?"

    Some people pay for their online services with check made payable to
    "The Internet."

    Customer: "So, that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
    Tech Support: "Yeah."
    Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
    Tech Support: "Uhh... uh... uh...yeah."

    Customer: "My computer crashed!"
    Tech Support: "It crashed?"
    Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game..."
    Tech Support: "All right then, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot it."
    Customer: "No, it didn't crash - it crashed!"
    Tech Support: "Huh?"
    Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before! I crashed
    the spaceship, and now it doesn't work."
    Tech Support: Click on "File", then "New Game".
    Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

    As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being
    female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to
    starboard, Captain!")

    Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced
    that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their
    reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

    Five reasons to believe computers are female:

    1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

    2. The native language they use to communicate with other
    computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

    3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as
    informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm
    certainly not going to tell you."

    4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
    for later retrieval.

    5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
    spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

    However, another group of computer scientists, (all female)
    think that computers should be referred to as if they were male.
    Their reasons follow:

    Five reasons to believe computers are male:

    1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

    2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
    time they ARE the problem.

    3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had
    waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

    4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

    5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

    I hope these brought a smile to your face, as they did mine...


  2. #2
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Just to be a Smart arse, Helecopters Auto-rotate, they can't glide, ergo, they can't navigate to the airport!
    As for the e-mails, hehe, their pretty damn funny

    - Noia
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    smart ass

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    ha ha ha
    i m going to laugh this whole week off
    Sometimes realitys are dreams we cannot live in.... (as my bst fren says) [/shadow]

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2003

    i found them funny

  6. #6
    4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
    for later retrieval.

    5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
    spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
    Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
    hahahhaha those made me laugh.

    "MemorY" i had to sign on with this one cuz im on a school network and i stay logged in and other can post as me.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2003

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2003

    what about the woman that wants to put her paintings in the internet but says that there can be no computers...
    she calls a isp
    isp says that price depends on the computer(server)
    and she keeps saying that she wants to make a online exhibition with no computers


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    lol...ill add that one to it next time

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    see david ? answering your own threads but as "AllYourBase"

    hehe.. did you forget who you logged in as ?

    for those who don't know.. irish=david=AllYourBase see this thread for reference.

    really david.. the clincher is in the birthdates amoungst other glaring things

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts