a few microsoft jokes

[hzdd]

hey guys. these aren't overly original but i find them quite funny.
hope you enjoy them.

1. Microsoft! Every day is the dawn of a new error.
2. Keyboard error! Press any key to continue.
3. WARNING! Resources low! Enter wallet into a: to continue.

yew, pretty lame but i forgot the rest of em!
and i'd like to apologise for advertising on AO. You guys may have gave me **** but if u think i'm full of it, lets meet sometime and sort this out!
(ps; that's not a threat!)

[Nightfalls_Girl]

<BANG>..........................silence.............................

All sorted...


Nightfalls_Girl

[BBQdano]

Some people have hacked into Microsoft and stolen their Windows XP code and here it is. I am sure that they would love any improvements for the next version.



#include <windows.h>
#include <system_errors.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

main()
{
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);

set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right \
or just call it Chicargo)\n");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
}
return(unrecoverable_system);
}

[hzdd]

dude, that's pretty funny!

[BBQdano]

I am a funny guy. HA!

anyway heres some more...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER' sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded 'I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer.'

[The Mormon]

Nothing like making fun of cheap but expensive microsoft.
Can't you just wait for the 2004 edition of Microsoft? The jokes will be endless!

[LarryKingSux]

i agree with the mormon they just keep getting better (yeah right)

[Drunk On Duvel]

You know what's really funny are the people who bitch about how much Microsoft sucks and they use Microsoft products.

[Nightfalls_Girl]

Originally posted here by Drunk On Duvel
You know what's really funny are the people who bitch about how much Microsoft sucks and they use Microsoft products.

How do u think we know thay suck so much!!!!!

and chances are we use MS so widly is be cos when thay first came out thay court every ones market. ppl bought it and keept bying it, now it is the OS that is used in schools, bussinesses ect, linix/unix is used in organizations more for servers i think along with some mapping jobs.

so effectivly we use it as it is more widly used creating easier compatability with other HD,SW and it is user frendly.

Nightfalls_Girl