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Thread: Computer Diagnoses?

  1. #1
    Senior Member nihil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    United Kingdom: Bridlington

    Computer Diagnoses?

    Tom complained to his friend "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00."

    Tom figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
    You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labour It will be better in two weeks.
    Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
    He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
    The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins. Your daughter's on drugs, Put her in rehab. Your wife's pregnant. It ain't yours---get a lawyer.
    And if you don't stop jerking off,.Your tennis elbow will never get better.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    i've read that don rem. where
    but its gooooood
    Sometimes realitys are dreams we cannot live in.... (as my bst fren says) [/shadow]

  3. #3
    Macht Nicht Aus moxnix's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Huson Mt.
    And if you don't stop jerking off,.Your tennis elbow will never get better.
    Dayum......how did it know which hand he used???
    LOL....good one nihil.
    \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!\"
    Author Unknown

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    nihil rules
    Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire

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