New Product: Microsoft Contraceptives
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Thread: New Product: Microsoft Contraceptives

  1. #1
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    New Product: Microsoft Contraceptives

    here is a good one that i found


    NEW PRODUCT: MICROSOFT CONTRACEPTIVES


    Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive99, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market.

    The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.

    The Contraceptive99 suite consists of three products: Condom99, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package.

    The suite also comes in two expanded versions.

    Contraceptive99 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector.

    Contraceptive99 Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches.

    While Contraceptive99 does not address non-traditional copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year. They will be known as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and *******.

    OPERATION - Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the package. At installation, the Condom99 software checks for minimum hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product installs and is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After installation, operation commences. One caution is that the user must have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets the message, It is now safe to turn off your partner.

    DRAWBACKS - Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs, but most of these have been eliminated. The product needs to be installed each time its used.

    CONCLUSION - Contraceptive99 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it is a reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far superior to its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of the software, that is) will add missing functionality, such as Backout and Restore, Uninterruptible Power Supply, and Onboard Camera.

    Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive99's potential. He recently said, "Our contraceptive products will help users do to each other what we've been doing to our customers for years."

  2. #2
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    Hey W0lverine,

    Ha! Are you kidding me. That sounds like a nice program despite the drawbacks. What a h00t! I actually read a biography of Microsoft CEO Bill Gates and it said he was a funny guy. Didn't think he would go the distance to say something like that! Mind giving me the sight where you got that from? Thx.

    -Jagfire19
    [pong][blur]Victory to Success[/blur][/pong]is only half won through the[pong][blur]Habit of Hard Work...[/blur][/pong]
    -Jagfire19

  3. #3
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    try this thread man u will have the site and i think one of the most funniest post i have seen

    http://www.antionline.com/showthread...hreadid=252669

    not the fist one look at the second post it's funny man real funny

  4. #4
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    Hmmm, I'm afriad that link isn't working. Can you try another one for me.

    Thx.
    -Jagfire19
    [pong][blur]Victory to Success[/blur][/pong]is only half won through the[pong][blur]Habit of Hard Work...[/blur][/pong]
    -Jagfire19

  5. #5
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    it's working i just checked it i dont why it's not working for u. any way it's not far away just the thread listed below this thread in the tech humar section--


    the title is "See it"
    See it 12-23-2003 07:37 PM
    by neohunk

  6. #6
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    when microsoft started showing drawbacks?
    Sometimes realitys are dreams we cannot live in.... (as my bst fren says) [/shadow]

  7. #7
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    nice one again wolvie
    The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones that do.


    http://www.AntiOnline.com/sig.php?imageid=767

  8. #8
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    good

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