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Thread: Engineers

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    373

    Engineers

    >>Subject: Understanding Engineers.
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take One
    >
    >Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did
    >you get such a great bike?"
    >
    >The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
    >minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
    >threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
    >what you want."
    >
    >The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
    >probably wouldn't have fit."
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Two
    >
    >To the optimist, the glass is half full.
    >
    >To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
    >
    >To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
    >
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Three
    >
    >A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
    >particularly slow group of golfers.
    >
    >The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting
    >for 15 minutes!"
    >
    >The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
    >ineptitude!"
    >
    >The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
    >with him."
    >
    >"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
    >slow, aren't they?"
    >
    >The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
    >firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
    >year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
    >
    >The group was silent for a moment.
    >
    >The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
    >for them tonight."
    >
    >The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
    >ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
    >
    >The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
    >
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Four
    >
    >What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil engineers?
    >
    >Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
    >
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Five
    >
    >The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    >
    >The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    >
    >The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    >
    >The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
    >that?"
    >
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Six
    >
    >Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
    >possible designers of the human body.
    >
    >One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."
    >
    >Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
    >has many thousands of electrical connections."
    >
    >The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
    >run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
    >
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
    >
    >"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    >
    >Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
    >features yet"
    >
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
    >
    >An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
    >better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
    >
    >The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
    >foundation for an enduring relationship.
    >
    >The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion
    >and mystery he found there.
    >
    >The engineer said, "I like both."
    >
    >"Both?"
    >
    >"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
    >spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
    >work done."
    >
    >
    >
    >Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
    >
    >An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
    >and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
    >
    >He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
    >
    >The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
    >a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
    >
    >The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
    >it to the pocket.
    >
    >The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
    >princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
    >
    >Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
    >his pocket.
    >
    >Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
    >beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything
    >you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
    >
    >The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
    >girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    244
    good but next time try avoiding the >>>>> things
    The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones that do.


    http://www.AntiOnline.com/sig.php?imageid=767

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