Going through my old mail I found these two jokes. hope they amuse someone.
Pat and Mick are flying across the Atlantic to see their long lost cousins in the states. In the middle of the flight they run into a huge storm. All of a sudden there is a huge noise and the captain comes on the PA system. He announces that the no1 port engine has been struck by lightening so they are going to be half an hour late getting in. Ten minutes later the captain comes back on saying that due to the stress of the storm the no 2 starboard engine has stopped but there is no reason to panic as there is still two engines and they will only be an hour and a half late getting in. An hour later the captain comes back on the PA system. His voice sounding a bit more stressed. The no 2 port engine obviously was also damaged at the same time as the no 1 engine and it too has cut out. The aircraft will still make it to the airport but with a delay of 5 hours.
Mick on hearing this turns around to Pat jeezus if that other engine packs up we are going to be stuck up here all day..
Pat and Mick having finally made it to their destination are sitting on a bench looking out over the bay. All of a sudden there is a load of bubbles breaking on the surface of the water in front of them.
As they watch the bubbles get closer to shore and finally a scuba diver appears and starts to head up the beach .
Mick looks at Pat saying you know if we were a bit smarter we could have saved ourselves some money and walked over like him.