February 25th, 2004, 10:28 AM
Two more irish jokes.
A Texan is over in Ireland trying to trace his family roots down in the west country(i.e. Kerry for anyone who knows). So he is talking with this old farmer about how big his farm in the states is, how many heads of cattle he has. So seeing that the old farmer seems to have problems getting the idea he explains as follows.
"I can get up in the morning, get in my huge car drive all day till the sun goes down and still not got to the gates at the end of my land."
The old famer just smiles and says
" I had a car like that once, I sent it to the scrap heap"
The same Texan after leaving the old farmer is driving through a small village and stops at a market to look at the vegetables. Still having not learned his lesson he picks up a potato.
“What’s this?” he asks.
“A potato” says the stall owner.
“You call this a potato. Why back home on my farm our potatoes are about five times this size. Why you only need to cook two of them to feed a family.”
Looking over the rest of the stall he picks up a carrot and once again starts exclaiming about how much bigger the carrots are on his ranch in Texas.
The stall owner is getting a bit annoyed with him by this stage. Seeing the Texan starting to go for a cabbage he says.
“ ah jeazus! Will ya ever leave that brussel sprout alone.”
\"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.\"
\"The reason we are so pleased to find other people\'s secrets is that it distracts public attention from our own.\"