April 13th, 2004, 01:44 AM
Modern Day Definitions
Made me laugh.....
A magic act performed on Saturday night, where fast food vanishes down the performer's throat, and then shortly afterwards, it suddenly reappears on the taxi floor.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Back End of the Batmobile:
The state of your Brass Eye soon after you eat a really hot curry. "I had a Ring Stinger in the Benghazi restaurant last night, and now I've got a dose of Gandhi's Revenge. My arse feels like the back end of the Batmobile."
or Vagina Decliner. A homosexual.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there,
and where you've come from.
Bone of Contention:
A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
Breaking the Seal:
Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
or Small Man In A Boat, or Tongue Punchbag. The female erection.
Blue-Veined Hooligan. The 1-eyed skinhead.
Beer Goggles for the young drinker.
1-handed reading material.
The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.
The particularly frothy type of diarrhoea that you get when abroad.
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.
or Rusty Water. Diarrhoea.
Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
Free the Tadpoles:
Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.
Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
Going For a McShit:
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, our declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
A vigorous masturbation session.
or Horse's Collar, or Welly Top. Description of a very large vagina.
The type of bowel movement you experience after dining
for a week in fast food restaurants.
The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive
when viewed from the outside, but there's actually
****-all in there worth seeing.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:
"Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!".
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks
away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly
packed with stunners when you come back in.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept
with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
or Spuphemism. A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
or Arsetronaut. A homosexual.
Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)
A lady who goes down first time out.
55 - I'm fiftyfeckinfive and STILL no wiser,
Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone