You might be a redneck programmer if...
you've ever had to clean the pork rinds out of your keyboard.
your PC has a gun rack.
you think RAM chips are good eatin'.
you think a syntax requirement makes your beer and cigarettes cost more.
you think a flat file is used to sharpen the blades on your bushhog.
you think a serial port is where they ship Cheerios.
you think asynchronous is the best place to wash your hands.
you think rebooting is something you do after walking thru the mud.
you get compile errors because of extensive use of "fer" loops.
you think the pain caused by hitting your thumb with a hammer is measured in megahertz.
you have manure stains on your mouse and keyboard.
the place you bought your computer also sells bait.
your computer gets the dreaded "Bubba" virus.
you think a spreadsheet means you have to make up your bed.
you think a megabyte is a lot to eat.
you avoid hitting the HOME key until all your work is done.
your joystick is a Budweiser beer tap.
your project sizing estimates are in six-packs.
you purchase a leased line to the NASCAR web site.
you think a bream is scaleable but a catfish is not.
you've ever been too drunk to use the mouse.
you think a WORM drive is good lure.
you think an operating system is how they take your tonsils out.
your computer desk is a Sears' Workbench.
your logon password is Earlene.
your family tree is a Cartesian Product.
I saw this and could not stop laughing.