WiFi Speed Spray™ is safe and effective when used as directed. However, the product is known to the State of California to cause cancer; developmental toxicity; and/or male pattern baldness. For outdoor use only. Do not use near electrical appliances. WiFi Speed Spray™ should not be used in the presence of pregnant women, women who have been pregnant, or women who may some day become pregnant. Keep away from children and household pets (especially birds). Do not take internally. If a persistent cough or partial paralysis develops, consult a physician.
Everyone is going to die, I am just as good of a reason as any.