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Thread: S.a.t. Testing

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004

    S.a.t. Testing


    The following questions and answers were collated from the SAT tests
    given to 16-year-old students! Don't laugh too hard -- one of them could
    become president one day! You have to admit some are very creative.

    Q: Name the four seasons.
    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
    pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: What is a planet?
    A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

    Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
    to flow toward the moon because there is no water on the moon and nature
    abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
    A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to adultery.

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A: Premature death.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
    the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
    contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five
    bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

    Q: What is the Fibula?
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does "varicose" mean?
    A: Nearby.

    Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
    A: Most people prevent contraption by wearing a condominium.

    Q. Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section"
    A. The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What is a seizure?
    A: A Roman Emperor..

    Q: What is a terminal illness?
    A: When you are sick at the airport.

    Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    A: Mushrooms They always grow in damp places and so they look like

    Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Q: What is a turbine?
    A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    dear me....thats dire..

    thats not for UK sat's tests is it? cos they dont do them at 16, its like at 11 and 14 in the UK i think, where are they for?


  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    i2c, the SAT is in the US. Back when I went to school, they where used for college admission.

  4. #4
    Flash M0nkey
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    i2c - you know the way in the UK you sit your 11+ at 11 which decides if you get into a decent secondary school (which effects whether or no you get into Uni) and then you do your GCSE's at 16 (which determines wether or not you can stay on at school and then get into Uni) and now you do your AS-Levels at 17 (which is like a backup to the GCSE's just to be really sure that you should still be at school and can continue on to Uni) and then at 18 you take your A-Levels (which finally decide if you can get into Uni)

    So really in the UK you are preparing and working towards Uni form the age of 9 (when you start studying for 11+) and at any stage durring the next 9 or 10 yrs you mess up well then you dont get to go

    Where as in the US they take some general knowledge test - and then the Uni's request copies of the parents bank account statements - if their account statements pass their tests the pupil gets in....oh and I think they might glance at the SAT score at some stage as well

    /me takes tongue out of cheek and walks away whistling


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