July 13th, 2004, 06:46 AM
Bill Gates Hell or not
Bill Gates died and found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God. "Well, Bill," God said, "Iím really confused about this call; Iím not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. So Iím going to do something Iíve never done before. In your case, Iím going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. Whatís the difference between the two?"
God said, "Iím willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
God said, "Iím going to leave that up to you."
Bill said, "Okay, then, letís try Hell first." So off Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God and off they went.
Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," God replied, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "Howís everything going, Bill?" God asked.
Bill responded (his voice full of anguish and disappointment), "This is awful; this is not what I expected. I canít believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"
"Ah," God smiled and said, "That was just the screensaver."
July 18th, 2004, 11:33 PM
HAHA - I haven't heard that one before now...nice one
Reminds me of one: What does an A/C and a PC have in common?
they both shut down and cease to work properly when you open windows.....