Rules from the Male side (woot!)
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Thread: Rules from the Male side (woot!)

  1. #1
    PHP/PostgreSQL guy
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    Talking Rules from the Male side (woot!)

    Ok, so this is good humor for today as my boss showed me this list. All good for humor, there's probably a similar list (actually, yeah there is in a different context), so everyone enjoy a good laugh!

    DISCLAIMER: Yeah, might've been posted here under some other title but I couldn't find it.

    ----------

    Rules from the Male side

    Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday - sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answer to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like WIndows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If you ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to talk about topics such as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this; yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that; it's like camping.

    Hehe, how true! What do you guys think?
    We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do just about anything with almost nothing.

  2. #2
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    Only if you disregard anything I say when I have PMS
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  3. #3
    AO French Antique News Whore
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    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    Best one!
    -Simon \"SDK\"

  4. #4
    PHP/PostgreSQL guy
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    Originally posted here by debwalin
    Only if you disregard anything I say when I have PMS
    Only if that applies if the PMS rule isn't the "standard" response, hehe... too many women abuse/use that one, but hey, I careth not most of the time and let it all slide.

    It's all about the video games!
    We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do just about anything with almost nothing.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


    that one is my favourite hehe

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. <-- this one was a close second


  6. #6
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    If you'd just hand over the damn video games to begin with, PMS would be oh so much better.
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  7. #7
    PHP/PostgreSQL guy
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    Hey! Well, honestly, video games save me from the politics that go on every day at work. But I don't watch Sunday sports, don't care about monster trucks, and ask for directions....blah!
    We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do just about anything with almost nothing.

  8. #8
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    Haha, video games get me thru very long nights of insomnia...better to be kicking ass on a video game than kicking my husbands cause he's sleeping and I can't
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Zonewalker's Avatar
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    Vorlin... deb - are you two secretly married to each other by any chance?

    Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes

  10. #10
    HeadShot Master N1nja Cybr1d's Avatar
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    Only if you disregard anything I say when I have PMS
    We have a deal ....god you should hear the **** I go through every 21 days.

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