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Thread: cybersex

  1. #1
    They call me the Hunted foxyloxley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    3rd Rock from Sun

    Post cybersex

    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known
    as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through
    Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one
    of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat
    doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he


    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high
    heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are
    36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on
    a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Wal-Mart. I'm also wearing a
    T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK.

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the
    stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your
    eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to
    fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk
    slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a
    hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My
    soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck.
    Do you have any scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back
    undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts.
    My nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting
    the clasp.

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your
    tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
    breasts. They're neat!

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
    your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of
    my blouse.

    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your
    hard tool.

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,
    in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Can I help?

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling
    through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet.
    And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's
    the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked
    bodies pressing each other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the
    glasses on the night table.

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room
    and toward the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for
    the toilet. I lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but
    I can't find it. Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry
    again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my... you know... thing... in
    your... you know... woman's thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your
    neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand
    it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on
    my face.

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all
    floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
    underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table.
    I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture
    frames and your candles.

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of
    our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it,
    a shocked look on my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

    Sweetheart: [logged off]
    55 - I'm fiftyfeckinfive and STILL no wiser,
    OLDER yes
    Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
    come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    that was interesting........

  3. #3
    T3h 1337 N00b kryptonic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Seattle, Washington.
    Ive seen that somewhee before....there a guy does by the hands bloodninja mostly. He does stuff like that wierd cyber thing. looks it up on google its hella funny.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    That was funny as hell, haha good laugh foxy.
    Space For Rent.. =]

  5. #5 , tons of that stuff ....

  6. #6
    AO French Antique News Whore
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    I saw that one allready but always good read!
    -Simon \"SDK\"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    haha that was hella intersting/funny, nice one foxy haha got anymore?!?!

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