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Thread: High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

  1. #1
    They call me the Hunted foxyloxley's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
    3rd Rock from Sun

    Post High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

    High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

    NEW - Different color from previous design

    ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design

    EXCLUSIVE - Imported product

    UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition

    DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone

    FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments

    ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it

    IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

    FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment

    HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit

    DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor

    YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works

    REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors

    BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it

    FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does

    DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others

    MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix

    RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope...

    HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on

    PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period

    MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours

    ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!

    BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise

    HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it

    SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be delivered by a bloke on a bus

    NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will work

    MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction

    CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most Post Offices

    UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

    BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together

    SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - The manufacturer's, upon cashing your check

    MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain

    LATEST AER0SPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our employees was laid off by British Aerospace
    55 - I'm fiftyfeckinfive and STILL no wiser,
    OLDER yes
    Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
    come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone

  2. #2
    0_o Mastermind keezel's Avatar
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    Jun 2003
    Frickin awesome. I love it!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Anther good one.

    High Benchmarks: Will burn up and leave marks on your desk.

  4. #4
    Junior Member black_v's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    I used some of them!!

    I code,therefore I exist
    although the Gods don\'t agree
    No lightning pls

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