November 17th, 2004, 02:47 AM
Wal-Mart Does it Again
First time i've posted a forwarded email but, knowing the local manager of the Wally-world here I had a good laugh.
One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley behind him, "My elbow hurts like everything. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap.water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole for good measure. Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab...
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.
And, as always, thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
November 17th, 2004, 03:28 AM
That's like the joke with the priest that knew all the wines:
There was this priest that knew, just from tasting a bit, what year, brand and country any wine was from. One guy, curious if he could trick the priest, took a glass of urine from his 16-yr old daughter [presenting it as a rare white wine].
The monach said: "16, blonde, virgin. But she's not from my community"
Or well, something like that...
November 17th, 2004, 08:00 AM
LOL that was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!