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Thread: Why computers are better than women.....

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004

    Why computers are better than women.....

    I don't know if this list has been posted on antionline.com yet but here it is.

    1. A computer can wait forever for you.
    2. A computer doesnít compare you with itís past users.
    3. A computer doesnít get calls from itís past users while youíre logged in.
    4. A computer doesnít mind how excited you get.
    5. A computer doesnít tell you how completely teriffic itís past users have been.
    6. A computer is big in all the right places.
    7. A computer never forgets your birthday.
    8. A computer wonít ask, ďAre you in?Ē
    9. A computer wonít ask, ďIs there another computer?Ē
    10. A computer wonít even talk about marriage.
    11. A computer wonít fall in love with you just because you have sex.
    12. A computer wonít get bitchy if youíre slow to respond.
    13. A computer wonít grade you on how much you send it.
    14. A computer wonít look through your checkbook.
    15. A computer wonít mind how many other accounts you have, or if you keep getting new ones.
    16. A computer wonít say, ďLetís just be friends.Ē
    17. A computer wonít shave with your razor.
    18. A computerís maintainance personel donít cross-examine you every time you log in.
    19. Computers are easy to turn on.
    20. Computers are ready when you are.
    21. Computers are very responsive.
    22. Computers arenít into finding out how far youíll go to keep your account.
    23. Computers do everything you tell them to.
    24. Computers donít care about age differences.
    25. Computers donít care if youíre married.
    26. Computers donít get pregnant.
    27. Computers donít get upset if you use other computers.
    28. Computers donít insist on foreplay.
    29. Computers donít make you meet their parents.
    30. Computers donít mind if you share them with a friend.
    31. Computers donít mind spending hours on the phone with you.
    32. Computers donít play head games unless you ask them to.
    33. Computers never ask you to call them in the morning.
    34. Computers never have headaches, or take rainchecks, or have a curfew, or have that time of the month.
    35. Computers wonít mind if you donít like their friends.
    36. If you donít like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a min.
    37. Size doesnít count to a computer.
    38. The average computer session lasts four hours.
    39. With a computer, you never have to say youíre sorry.
    40. You can log into several computers at once.
    41. You can turn off a computer.
    42. You can visit a computer any time you like, and itíll be up and ready for you.
    43. You donít have to tell computers you love them.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    LA, CA
    But remember, a computer running Microsoft is like a woman:
    1. if somethings wrong it will not tell you, but you'll know
    2. Jealously (linux)
    3. You will be spending money
    4. It may rearrage your things because its "better" that way
    5. If you decide on microsoft you'll have to deal with the whole family
    A mind full of questions has no room for answers

  3. #3
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    I'll just make up a few on how a Computer is like a woman, instead of how they are better:

    You can root her on the first night if you're good

    You still need protection for rooting, or you might get in trouble

    In, out, try not too leave anything that can be traced to you. (this one from Bash)

    Finering them is always fun, and you get to know them much better when you do.

    You better be ready for a long night if you get them wet.

    You need admin rights before they will let you in the system files.

    More and Cat still go good together. more cat, buahahaha

    rm -rf works if you're root of that domain

    Asking what's wrong is never going too work

    If you have fast accurate fingers you can get more done

    Double clicking the mouse rocks

    If you have the money you can play high end games like Doom4Play

    UART gettin none

    Child processes can still be terminated

    If they get a virus you damn well better run and then test the rest of your network.

    A fat penguine is better than a broken window.

    Reprogramming the Kernel takes a long time and a lot of swearing

    using FTPenis is a good way to store things.

    A reboot solves most problems until you upgrade to a better version, like Wifenix. They stay with you for life.

    I don't give a **** if these were cheesy, I made them up as I was typing except the ONE I used from Bash.

  4. #4
    Senior Member nihil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    United Kingdom: Bridlington
    Let us be serious gentlemen,

    There is little to choose between a woman and a computer..............it is purely a timing and desire differential.

    To get your shirts and pants pressed properly, you need a BatMan?

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