Why computers are better than women.....

[cream47]

I don't know if this list has been posted on antionline.com yet but here it is.

1. A computer can wait forever for you.
2. A computer doesn’t compare you with it’s past users.
3. A computer doesn’t get calls from it’s past users while you’re logged in.
4. A computer doesn’t mind how excited you get.
5. A computer doesn’t tell you how completely teriffic it’s past users have been.
6. A computer is big in all the right places.
7. A computer never forgets your birthday.
8. A computer won’t ask, “Are you in?”
9. A computer won’t ask, “Is there another computer?”
10. A computer won’t even talk about marriage.
11. A computer won’t fall in love with you just because you have sex.
12. A computer won’t get bitchy if you’re slow to respond.
13. A computer won’t grade you on how much you send it.
14. A computer won’t look through your checkbook.
15. A computer won’t mind how many other accounts you have, or if you keep getting new ones.
16. A computer won’t say, “Let’s just be friends.”
17. A computer won’t shave with your razor.
18. A computer’s maintainance personel don’t cross-examine you every time you log in.
19. Computers are easy to turn on.
20. Computers are ready when you are.
21. Computers are very responsive.
22. Computers aren’t into finding out how far you’ll go to keep your account.
23. Computers do everything you tell them to.
24. Computers don’t care about age differences.
25. Computers don’t care if you’re married.
26. Computers don’t get pregnant.
27. Computers don’t get upset if you use other computers.
28. Computers don’t insist on foreplay.
29. Computers don’t make you meet their parents.
30. Computers don’t mind if you share them with a friend.
31. Computers don’t mind spending hours on the phone with you.
32. Computers don’t play head games unless you ask them to.
33. Computers never ask you to call them in the morning.
34. Computers never have headaches, or take rainchecks, or have a curfew, or have that time of the month.
35. Computers won’t mind if you don’t like their friends.
36. If you don’t like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a min.
37. Size doesn’t count to a computer.
38. The average computer session lasts four hours.
39. With a computer, you never have to say you’re sorry.
40. You can log into several computers at once.
41. You can turn off a computer.
42. You can visit a computer any time you like, and it’ll be up and ready for you.
43. You don’t have to tell computers you love them.

[hiddeninclouds]

But remember, a computer running Microsoft is like a woman:
1. if somethings wrong it will not tell you, but you'll know
2. Jealously (linux)
3. You will be spending money
4. It may rearrage your things because its "better" that way
5. If you decide on microsoft you'll have to deal with the whole family

[gore]

I'll just make up a few on how a Computer is like a woman, instead of how they are better:

You can root her on the first night if you're good

You still need protection for rooting, or you might get in trouble

In, out, try not too leave anything that can be traced to you. (this one from Bash)

Finering them is always fun, and you get to know them much better when you do.

You better be ready for a long night if you get them wet.

You need admin rights before they will let you in the system files.

More and Cat still go good together. more cat, buahahaha

rm -rf works if you're root of that domain

Asking what's wrong is never going too work

If you have fast accurate fingers you can get more done

Double clicking the mouse rocks

If you have the money you can play high end games like Doom4Play

UART gettin none

Child processes can still be terminated

If they get a virus you damn well better run and then test the rest of your network.

A fat penguine is better than a broken window.

Reprogramming the Kernel takes a long time and a lot of swearing

using FTPenis is a good way to store things.

A reboot solves most problems until you upgrade to a better version, like Wifenix. They stay with you for life.

I don't give a **** if these were cheesy, I made them up as I was typing except the ONE I used from Bash.

[nihil]

Let us be serious gentlemen,

There is little to choose between a woman and a computer..............it is purely a timing and desire differential.

To get your shirts and pants pressed properly, you need a BatMan?