February 8th, 2005, 02:10 AM
Since I am always taking from antionline I thought I would give something back in terms of laughter .............. enjoy all and thanks to everyone who's tried to help me over the months and years ..
Complete List of Windows 95 Error Messages
WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
WinErr: 004 Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr: 00B Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB
WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ?
WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new
one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore.
WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your
software. We are terribly sorry.
WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next
time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.
WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost.
WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The
virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically
be closed and the virus will be activated again.
WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed.
Please click the left mouse button to continue.
WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered.
Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.
WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play
WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the
system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr: 625 Working Error - The system has been working perfectly for the
past ten minutes
WniErr: 902 Screen Error - The system is working perfectly, I'm not
lying, your monitor is wrong
WinErr: 72a Crucial Halt - Hang on, WHAT was that?
WinErr: 72b Memory Error - What? Tell me again.
WinErr: 39c Disk Error in drive a: - Although your disk is in perfect
condition (I just formatted it), I don't like it any more
WinErr: 983 Hard Disk Error - The files on the hard disk were neatly
arranged and fully optimised, so I had to mess them up and put
a couple of hundred .TMP files all over the place
WinErr: 294 BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or your computer gets screwed
Winerr: 294b BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or I'll show your wife the
JPG's you just downloaded
February 8th, 2005, 02:15 AM
Former New Yorkers (hell, your ALWAYS a New Yorker, you just don't happen to LIVE there anymore) rejoice! Your OS is here:
It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS
XP/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida
Broooklyn. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin'
Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It
reads: "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza.When
you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you
hear da teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos
Please also note:
-Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island."
-The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk."
- Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out."
- Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar."
- Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."
- Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family
business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin'
- Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour."
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:
Find................Put a contract out on
Browse..........Get a looksee
Help................(Help ain't available - yous don't need no stinkin' help)
Stop.................Knock it off
Settings..........Here's d' Rules
Also note dat any voice recognition software run on da BROOKLYN
EDITION platform don't recognize da letter "R."
Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98:
Typa................A word processin' program
Solitare.............Seven Card Stud
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a
Yous got a problem wit dat?
BILL ("4 eyes") GATES
"Data is not necessarily information. Information does not necessarily lead to knowledge. And knowledge is not always sufficient to discover truth and breed wisdom." --Spaf
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president should on no account be allowed to do the job. --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
"...people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right." - Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
February 8th, 2005, 02:23 AM
Haha - being originally from Brooklyn I thoroughly enjoyed that one.