Oh just remove the warning labels already and be done with it..
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Thread: Oh just remove the warning labels already and be done with it..

  1. #1
    Just a Virtualized Geek MrLinus's Avatar
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    Oh just remove the warning labels already and be done with it..

    Here's yer sign. (a la Bill Engvall)

    Source

    Operator: "... dept, how can I help you?"
    Bitch: "Yeah, I'm over here...I'm over here at Burger King, over here in San Clemente."
    O: Mmm-hmm.
    B: Um, no, not San Clemente, I'm sorry, um I live in San Clemente, um, Laguna Niguel I think that's where I'm at.
    O: Mmm-hmm.
    B: I'm at a drive-thru right now.
    O: Uh-huh.
    B: I ordered my food THREE TIMES, they're mopping the floor inside and I understand they're busy, they've not even busy okay I've been the only car here. I asked them four different times to make me a Western BBQ burger. Okay and she's given me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, cheese, onions. And I'm not leaving, I want a Western burger because I just got my kids from Tae Kwon Do they're hungry, I'm on my way home and I live in San Clemente.
    O: Uh-huh.
    B: Okay. She GAVE me another hamburger, it's wrong. I said 4 times, I said I want it, she said 'Can you go park out in front' I said NO, I want my hamburger RIGHT. So then the lady came to the manager or whoever she is and she came up and she said, um, she said um, 'Do you want your money back'. I said no, my kids are hungry and I have to jump on that 12 freeway. I said I am not leaving this spot, and I said I will call the police, because I want my Western hamburger done RIGHT. Now is that so hard?

    O: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?
    B: Uh, send an officer down here. I want them to make my order right.
    O: Ma'am, we're not going to go down there and escort your Western bacon cheeseburger.
    B: *pause* ....What am I supposed to do?
    O: This is, this is between you and the manager. We're not going to force how to make a hamburger. That's why, that's not a criminal issue. There's nothing criminal there.
    B: So I just stand here. So I just sit here and--
    O: You, you need to calmly and rationally speak to the manager and figure out things between you.
    B: She DID come up and I said, 'Can I please have my Western burger', she she said 'I'm not dealing with this' and she walked away. Because they're mopping the floor and [blahblahsomething i can't hear] they don't want to rush, they don't want to go through there....
    O: Then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This, this is not a criminal issue. We can't go out there and make them make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.

    B: *stunned* Well....that is, that, you're supposed to be here to protect me.
    O: Well what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?
    B: No, it's--
    O: Is this a HARMFUL cheeseburger or something? I don't understand what you want us to do.
    B: Well--just come down here, I'm not leavin'!
    O: No ma'am, I'm not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger! You need to go in there and act like an adult, and get your money back, and go home.
    B: SHE is not acting like an adult herself! I'm sitting here in my car, I just want them to make my kid a Western burger--
    O: Ma'am, here's what I suggest. I suggest you get your money back from the manager, and you go on your way home. Okay?
    B: Okay--
    O: Bye.
    Goodbye, Mittens (1992-2008). My pillow will be cold without your purring beside my head
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  2. #2
    Hoopy Frood
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    Was this Bill Evngvall? Didn't know that. Here's the audio clip of this.

    - X

    [EDIT] Attachment too large to upload. Sorry, here's the link to the audio clip: http://www.media.ebaumsworld.com/ind...k_911_tape.mp3 [/EDIT]
    "Personality is only ripe when a man has made the truth his own."

    -- Søren Kierkegaard

  3. #3
    Just a Virtualized Geek MrLinus's Avatar
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    Bill Engvall is a comedian. I first got introduced to him when I saw the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on the Movie Network. He has this skit he does where he believes that all stupid people should have signs to warn you of their existence.

    e.g.,

    He was driving along the highway and a semi that had been ahead of him got stuck under a bridge. He stopped to talk with the driver and wait for the police. Trooper shows up and asks ...

    "Git yer truck stuck?" (DUH)

    Trucker responds, "Nope. Was delivering this here bridge and ran outta gas".

    "Here's yer sign."
    Goodbye, Mittens (1992-2008). My pillow will be cold without your purring beside my head
    Extra! Extra! Get your FREE copy of Insight Newsletter||MsMittens' HomePage

  4. #4
    Hoopy Frood
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    Oh, I know who he is. He's my favorite comedian I've heard, but granted, I've heard few. When I first heard him, I was playing DII and I was laughing so hard I had to pause because I couldn't click anymore.

    - Xierox
    "Personality is only ripe when a man has made the truth his own."

    -- Søren Kierkegaard

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Don't forget Larry the Cable Guy with the wireless, remote control farter. Technology at it's finest.
    \"You got a mouth like an outboard motor..all the time putt putt putt\" - Foghorn Leghorn

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Exclamation

    He has this skit he does where he believes that all stupid people should have signs to warn you of their existence. [/B]
    I'll immediately buy a dozen of each sandwich board sign, worn on the front and back.

    Back of sign: Danger! "Stoopid" peoples ahead!
    Front of sign : Warning! Stand back, "Stoopid" peoples approaching!

    It's not the 60-100 IQ people I'm talking about.

    It's those lazy idiots who find it much too hard to think for themselves and who expect the rest of the world to hand them a silver platter.

    I once knew a dude who told me "...butt..tttt....I can't do that...
    Why?? I ask,
    .....Cause thinking makes my head hurt!!

    I did the obligatory double take on that one.
    ZT3000
    Beta tester of "0"s and "1"s"

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