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Operator: "... dept, how can I help you?"
Bitch: "Yeah, I'm over here...I'm over here at Burger King, over here in San Clemente."
O: Mmm-hmm.
B: Um, no, not San Clemente, I'm sorry, um I live in San Clemente, um, Laguna Niguel I think that's where I'm at.
O: Mmm-hmm.
B: I'm at a drive-thru right now.
O: Uh-huh.
B: I ordered my food THREE TIMES, they're mopping the floor inside and I understand they're busy, they've not even busy okay I've been the only car here. I asked them four different times to make me a Western BBQ burger. Okay and she's given me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, cheese, onions. And I'm not leaving, I want a Western burger because I just got my kids from Tae Kwon Do they're hungry, I'm on my way home and I live in San Clemente.
O: Uh-huh.
B: Okay. She GAVE me another hamburger, it's wrong. I said 4 times, I said I want it, she said 'Can you go park out in front' I said NO, I want my hamburger RIGHT. So then the lady came to the manager or whoever she is and she came up and she said, um, she said um, 'Do you want your money back'. I said no, my kids are hungry and I have to jump on that 12 freeway. I said I am not leaving this spot, and I said I will call the police, because I want my Western hamburger done RIGHT. Now is that so hard?
O: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?
B: Uh, send an officer down here. I want them to make my order right.
O: Ma'am, we're not going to go down there and escort your Western bacon cheeseburger.
B: *pause* ....What am I supposed to do?
O: This is, this is between you and the manager. We're not going to force how to make a hamburger. That's why, that's not a criminal issue. There's nothing criminal there.
B: So I just stand here. So I just sit here and--
O: You, you need to calmly and rationally speak to the manager and figure out things between you.
B: She DID come up and I said, 'Can I please have my Western burger', she she said 'I'm not dealing with this' and she walked away. Because they're mopping the floor and [blahblahsomething i can't hear] they don't want to rush, they don't want to go through there....
O: Then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This, this is not a criminal issue. We can't go out there and make them make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.
B: *stunned* Well....that is, that, you're supposed to be here to protect me.
O: Well what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?
B: No, it's--
O: Is this a HARMFUL cheeseburger or something? I don't understand what you want us to do.
B: Well--just come down here, I'm not leavin'!
O: No ma'am, I'm not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger! You need to go in there and act like an adult, and get your money back, and go home.
B: SHE is not acting like an adult herself! I'm sitting here in my car, I just want them to make my kid a Western burger--
O: Ma'am, here's what I suggest. I suggest you get your money back from the manager, and you go on your way home. Okay?
B: Okay--
O: Bye.
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He's my favorite comedian I've heard, but granted, I've heard few. When I first heard him, I was playing DII and I was laughing so hard I had to pause because I couldn't click anymore.
