June 3rd, 2005, 12:01 AM
Bah, I do that all the time!
Originally posted here by ¤The¤Spe©ialist
19, try to convince others that you actually know something about computers.
"Personality is only ripe when a man has made the truth his own."
-- Søren Kierkegaard
June 3rd, 2005, 12:03 AM
hmmmm. I have a few ideas.
- fall alseep and drool on the table like you did in highschool
- give yourself a wedgie and tell the guy next to you it works better than coffee for waking you up
and of course, we can't forget this one...
- ask the guy lecturing which is better, Windows or Linux
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his - George Patton
June 3rd, 2005, 01:03 AM
I suppose that I will have a go:
1. Read a particularly salacious magazine in full view. This really works, and is terribly disruptive, as the fellow delegates are all thinking "how has he got the balls to do that here"......and they cannot take their eyes off the magazine.
2. Read your favourite manual?............mine is "One shot kills at six hundred yards...........the U.S.A.M.C. Manual of Sniping"
3. Make sure you have the security guys on your side for this one!!!!!!!.............just hand a Cotter Pin on a split ring to the delegate next to you and tell them that they have four and one half seconds to figure out where "the rest of it is"
For ordinary internal stuff I generally go for "has anyone considered the tax implications of all this".......that is generally guaranteed to wreck a meeting.
I don't get invited to many meetings........I guess that it must be some sort of racist/ageist/sexist thing?
June 3rd, 2005, 07:40 PM
....and the #1 thing to do at a security conference?
Serve up a webserver on your lappy (with seemingly important infoz on it) and be sure that GOATSE is the only thing on the index page.
This is my personal favorite. You'd be surprised how many dummies who think they're being slick with their Uber toolz suddenly jump back in their seats when they actually open the page. It's like watching them get hit with an invisible hammer.
Our scars have the power to remind us that our past was real. -- Hannibal Lecter.
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. -- John Wooden
June 3rd, 2005, 07:54 PM
You only call that #1 because you've had it happen to you
What to do so that the boring speaker lets everyone take a break? Go into the bathroom. Almost all bathrooms at these places have electrical outlets. Gets something like a thick rubber glove, or, use your foot with docs on, and kick a paper clip into the thing. The power should go out for everything in the area unless the electrician didn't cut corners which is not likely.
Then when it's dark, come out of the bathroom and you should be on break while they look for the problem. Oh, if you REALLY want some fun, while it's dark, any laptops the bathroom has are up on the list of grabs. No one is going to chase you out of the bathroom with **** hanging out and their pants down. And if they do, the bathroom doors in these places are great with super glue.
When you get done sell them their laptop ... Most of them at these shows have company data on them, grab a competitor and them, and see who bids the highest. Entertainment man.
And if you're super bored, spike the coffee with LSD. If you're still bored, drink some.
June 3rd, 2005, 08:01 PM
I just KNEW that the BOFMichigan HAD to have a say here
Remind me NEVER to take MY laptop with me for a sh1te
55 - I'm fiftyfeckinfive and STILL no wiser,
Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone
June 3rd, 2005, 08:15 PM
June 4th, 2005, 04:46 AM
One way to do something like what horse said is to use airpwn. See:
June 5th, 2005, 07:39 AM
Hmm you could follow my lead from the April 2005 San Fran ISSA CISM gathering and get trashed at the open bar and spend dinner getting a hottie sales director from a leading encryption company and the (far, far less attractive) VP of international security at a leading credit card company drunk as well and trying to talk them into a threesome. Then following that up with... yeah, I am amazed I still get invites to their meetings.