November 6th, 2005, 11:16 PM
45 fun things to do in exams
45 Fun things to do in Final Exams
(when you know your going to fail anyway)
1. Roll up your coat to form a pillow and pretend to fall asleep until the last 20 minutes of the exam. Then wake up, do some gibberish work and hand it in a few minutes early.
2. Make paper airplanes out of the exam paper.
3. When you have finished your paper, start marking it in red ink.
4. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers
with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me
thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
5. Bring cheerleaders and supporters.
6. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the
instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long!
What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?
7. Bring a CD Player or Game Boy. Play the device with the volume at max level.
8. on the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer
every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it
conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
9. Bring a pet.
10. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces,
throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for
another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen
11. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
12. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing
13. Come down with a severe case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar
14. Do the entire exam in another language, e.g. Klingon. If you don't know one, make
one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
15. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person
nearest to you.
16. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
17. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next
video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the
instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
18. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue
with the exam.
19. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start
commenting on how easy it was.
20. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice
exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
21. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely
22. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream
out "Feck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
23. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or
not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
24. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the
exam, you should start crying for mommy).
25. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a
very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is
hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
26. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
27. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white
mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
28. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very
small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been
to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
29. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really
expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on !"
30. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
31. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the
instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or
another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
32. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
33. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly
think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate
everything to your own life story.
34. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
35. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist
this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
36. Bring cheat sheets to another class (make sure this is obvious... like business notes
for a math exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and
staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for
references as you see fit."
37. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
38. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the
answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
39. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
40. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
41. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often.
Consider a small sacrifice.
42. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few
minutes throughout the exam.
43. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can
44. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
45. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop,
say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the
instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the
phrase "Told you so".