Just a few.
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Thread: Just a few.

  1. #1

    Post Just a few.

    Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as
    his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the
    horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked,
    "Pop,
    why are you doing that?"

    "Because im thinking of buying these horses."

    Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right
    away!"

    "Why?" his father asked.

    "Because the milkman stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy
    Mom!"


    ************************************
    More Ways to Tell You Are Addicted to the internet...

    1. You find yourself typing "com" after every full stop when using a word processor.com

    2. You turn off your modem and get this empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

    3. You start introducing yourself as "Jon at AOL dot com"

    4. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

    5. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

    6. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

    7. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

    8. You laugh at people with 14,400 baud modems.

    9. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

    10. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

    11. You tell the cab driver you live at http://82.luck.street/house/bluetrim.html

    12. Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

    13. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

    14. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)

    15. You turn on your computer, and turn off your spouse.

    16. Your best friend is someone you've never met.

    17. Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage

    ... so you buy another computer, and install a second phone line so you can chat.

    18. You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited.

    19. Your dog has its own home page.

    20. So does your gold fish.

    $******************************************$
    Eight Words with two Meanings

    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
    Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
    Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
    Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
    Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
    Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
    Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

    4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
    Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
    Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
    Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
    Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
    Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
    Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
    Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
    Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
    Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
    Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

    {Recieved Via Email}

  2. #2

    Post Just a few.

    Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as
    his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the
    horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked,
    "Pop,
    why are you doing that?"

    "Because im thinking of buying these horses."

    Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right
    away!"

    "Why?" his father asked.

    "Because the milkman stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy
    Mom!"


    ************************************
    More Ways to Tell You Are Addicted to the internet...

    1. You find yourself typing "com" after every full stop when using a word processor.com

    2. You turn off your modem and get this empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

    3. You start introducing yourself as "Jon at AOL dot com"

    4. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

    5. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

    6. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

    7. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

    8. You laugh at people with 14,400 baud modems.

    9. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

    10. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

    11. You tell the cab driver you live at http://82.luck.street/house/bluetrim.html

    12. Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

    13. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

    14. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)

    15. You turn on your computer, and turn off your spouse.

    16. Your best friend is someone you've never met.

    17. Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage

    ... so you buy another computer, and install a second phone line so you can chat.

    18. You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited.

    19. Your dog has its own home page.

    20. So does your gold fish.

    $******************************************$
    Eight Words with two Meanings

    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
    Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
    Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
    Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
    Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
    Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
    Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

    4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
    Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
    Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
    Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
    Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
    Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
    Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
    Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
    Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
    Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
    Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

    {Recieved Via Email}

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