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Thread: Just a Joke

  1. #1

    Just a Joke

    You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old
    to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. Not that I am
    insinuating any of us are old.

    For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please
    read on..

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
    "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:


    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
    about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have a! n office with windows! OK, let's just say
    I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
    straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
    can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on "START".......

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2003

  3. #3
    I've heard a slightly different version of this one, but this one indeed is more funny.

    thanks for sharing


  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    I've seen that one before but its still funny, here's another one:

    Costello: Hey, Abbott!

    Abbott: Yes, Lou?

    Costello: I just got my first computer.

    Abbott: That's great, Lou. What did you get?

    Costello: An AMD 64 3500, with 1 Gig of RAM, a 160 Gig hard drive, and a DVD-RW 16xDVD +/- 4x Dual Layer Drive

    Abbott: That's terrific, Lou.

    Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!

    Abbott: You will in time.

    Costello: That's exactly why I'm here to see you.

    Abbott: Oh?

    Costello: I heard that you're a real computer expert.

    Abbott: Well, I don't know.

    Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.

    Abbott: Really?

    Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.

    Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?

    Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.

    Abbott: That's true.

    Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?

    Abbott: Well, first you press the Start button, and then

    Costello: No, I told you I want to turn it off.

    Abbott: I know, you press the Start button…

    Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.

    Abbott: I did.

    Costello: When?

    Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button.

    Costello: Why should I press the Start button?

    Abbott: To shut off the computer.

    Costello: I press Start to stop?

    Abbott: Well, Start doesn't actually stop the computer.

    Costello: I knew it! So what do I press?

    Abbott: Start.

    Costello: Start what?

    Abbott: Start button.

    Costello: Start button to do what?

    Abbott: Shut down.

    Costello: You don't have to get rude!

    Abbott: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.

    Costello: Then say what you mean.

    Abbott: To shut down the computer, press

    Costello: Don't say, "Start!"

    Abbott: Then what do you want me to say?

    Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.

    Abbott: But that's what you do.

    Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.

    Abbott: Don't be ridiculous.

    Costello: I'm being ridiculous? Well, I think it's

    about time we started this conversation.

    Abbott: What are you talking about?

    Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

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